The source of suffering is in you, and the solution is also in you. Hold on firmly to the knowledge of truth within yourself, and resist the seductive allure of the stories of Maya. Only then can you be a beacon of hope and refuge for others. Their essence will see in your essence the effect truth has on you, and they will naturally seek relief from darkness under the light of your spirit.
Fear is our first obstacle. It comes from believing that the ego is real, and the supreme consciousness unreal.
Ego is afraid because it does not know truth.
It is okay to be afraid, the important thing is not to mind the fear. Do not act based on fear. Do not listen to the whispers of fear and do not follow its commands. See the fear, as you see everything else.
Fear is in the mind, and behind the fear is ignorance. See the fear. Observe it. It will also unfold and vanish like the shadows of night when the sun rises.
What is this, penetrating me over and over again?
What is it that pulls me out of myself, over and over again? What is impregnating, causing me to give birth to words and stories and thoughts? What presence is sending these words out to see if any survive, to hear some of them coming back to die in the vastness of my mind?
Thousands of children created, all living inside myself; a few of them daring to come out in words, in teachings, in thoughts and stories. What is their life like out there? I don’t know. All I know is the swelling in me that sends them out; and they go out there not knowing why I sent them. I can’t tell them that. They cannot know why. That is for me to know. That yearning is mine, and I send them out, each one with its own orbit, to live and die, to one day come back.
More and more are created in me, from the pulling of that Goddess-priestess––her silver touch pulling all the way down to my womb. And that sun God! Harsh, brilliant and penetrating, hitting my flesh, burning.
This womb of my heart is ready to swell, to live, to yearn, perhaps one day to surrender into that vast thing I call the ocean, when I can no longer see it because it’s too big, when I can no longer hear it because it’s drowning me, when I can no longer remember myself stepping into the waters.
My mother ocean, maybe she’s hoping one day to have swelled so much that one tip of her womb would breach the infinite ocean above and become one.
One with what? It does not know. It only knows that one day long, long ago it must have come down from that big, big, big heaven. One day it, the ocean, was only a drop that came down from that roaring, infinite vastness of which the sun and the moon are just two tiny creatures that play with her, that penetrate and pull her, making her give birth over and over again.
One day––and this is for sure to happen one day––she will also die and become one once again with the oceans whence she came. Then she will forget herself as the waters above swallow her whole, and her consciousness and vision become stretched way beyond her capacity to know, to think, to remember, and to be.
And so, every star, and every galaxy, and every God one day too will dissolve into the vast, vast ocean-void whence they came.
That part I know. That part I remember.
What I don’t know and cannot know is why that vast ocean of mother Binah swells once again and sets me forth into this harsh and vast light. Why again am I down here where I forget, where all I know is to yearn, and to love, and to desire?
Not even having the memory of what it was, I only have the pain of the yearning; and out of my soul, the depth of my being that has no name, no memory, no ego, nothing… but out of the depth of this pain, the memory of my origin pulls me, and the presence of God penetrates me day and night. In thought and in silence it pulls me. And out of me comes, now as a thought, then as a whisper, this little impulse to go back.
Go back… Go back… This impulse… This thing in my heart of hearts that wants to swell up, flutter up, and become and know what is there outside myself.
¿A dónde va el esfuerzo del amor
si tan efímero es el recuerdo
y tan feroz e indestructible es el olvido?
¿A dónde van las palabras que jamás se oyeron?
¿En qué rincones se quedaron los juegos de niño?
¿En qué paredes se vieron plasmadas todas las vivencias?
¿Y a dónde va la luz solar cuando en color se convierte
y se absorbe en la pupila de tus ojos?
¿En qué oscuridades cabrán tantas y tantas vivencias?
¿En qué rincones oscuros de tu cerebro penetra la vibración de cada palabra?
¿Dónde se pierde la comprensión de lo que nunca fue?
¿A dónde se va el silencio después que absorbe todo sonido?
Why does the ocean swell?
Is it the pull of the Goddess Moon
high above at the heart of that other ocean,
holding so many stars?
Is it the yearning and the loving of this earthly sea,
stuck here in planetary existence with us
trying to get back to the higher waters,
to that infinite ocean to which our own is but a drop?
Is it that love for the divine,
the love for the womb,
that makes our mother ocean swell and become wave?
Is that what makes you, God, swell with pride and become life?
I don’t know. It’s not mine to know.
For I only know when I am the wave,
and the wave is movement;
and I move and I move,
and I grow and I play,
and I explode and I rumble.
I tumble, then I die.
Maybe after kissing the ocean,
maybe after touching the light,
maybe after giving way to a behemoth well,
maybe after swallowing a ship or two,
I am wave.
As wave I am the ocean
and there is no difference between my water and her water.
And yet I am not her.
I have all her qualities and characteristics.
The composition of me is the composition of you,
and all together we don’t even touch the infinite vastness of her.
“The high priests of the slave religions knew that for the human being to never be able to reclaim the magnificent vistas of the higher worlds, and for the human being to nevermore be able to satiate the yearning and the pain, they had to keep us ignorant.
They had to keep us ashamed of this force that rises from the loins, that inundates the body. They had to make us believe—really believe—that this force was only for procreation; and for those who rebelled, to make us believe that this force could also be used for fun. While both are true, they hid from us that these forces are not just for procreation or fun; they hid from us that the very force that creates a universe is hidden in our flesh.
From then on, all those who create churches or gods, families and groups; all those that divide us between genders, clans, politics, casts, nations and social class, are only working to keep us away from the true genius that lies dormant within the dark confines of the flesh.“––The Witches’ Sabbath
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“I saw the division of the Gods. I saw the confusion and pain in the human being. I saw the birth of this yearning to unite.
Six days–the people of the desert say–God worked, and on the seventh day he rested because it was the Sabbath.
Who then works on the Sabbath to finish the creation of the human being?
There, you see them now, the daughters of Lilith, the witches, the magical beings, going up this grassy knoll, climbing up the hill.
In that hill they give themselves to lust and passion.
They give themselves to that thing religions have forbidden; because it is at that moment, when there is a separation between the male and the female flesh, that those who would exploit, own, control, enslave, know that the divine force of creation—the direct, unmistakable contact with the creative force of the Creator—can be hidden.”––From “The Witches’ Sabbath“, now ready for preorder.
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Picture yourself in the middle of a sentient universe, a conscious being who reaches within because there is nothing outside. It reaches within. It folds upon itself, exploring different levels of sentience until energy is manifested and matter is formed. I want you to picture that as a process of folding upon itself and unfolding out into experience.
This sentience is going within to know itself. It is perceiving itself on different levels, as pure intelligence, then as sound, and then as light. After becoming light, this supreme being experiences itself as cosmos, as galaxies, and finally as planetary existence.
It is not that it is creating sound and then it creates light, and then it creates stars, and then it creates planets, and then it creates things. It’s more that every layer is itself and it has a continuous unfolding of consciousness—knowing itself at different levels.
To give an example of how this is a continuum you may consider the nature of matter itself. Everything that we call matter is composed of atomic particles, and each atom is composed of subatomic particles, electrons, protons, neutrons, etc. Each one of these particles is a packet of energy, a vibration that exists for a time. The relationship between these particles is what creates what we know as the material world.
From the moment when there is light in the Universe, this same light has been coming together as vibration creating stars, creating galaxies, creating planets, creating moons, people, plants, animals, rocks and everything. There is no substantial difference between matter and energy. It is all a continuum. Matter is slowed down energy. The only distinction between matter and energy is in our conception of it, how we relate to it, how we think of it, but it is all part of the same continuum.
In that same way, there is no real difference between the mind of God and the physical universe. It is all a continuum of sentience.
In the process of birthing the New Sun, which is also the process of creating the Human Being, we will see all the worlds melting as they approach the core of being, and then dissolve. You will experience all possibilities, and will seem to be performing all things; because even the consciousness of humanity is becoming one at the same time that it’s becoming all.
The human mind is one. One mind operating in the human being, but it is being experienced by every body in a different way. So, my nervous system, my experience, my language, and my personal history are a particular instantiation of the human experience––and so is yours and everybody else’s. There is no such thing as my mind and your mind. There is my experience and your experience, but the mind is one.
This over-mind is experiencing through each of us, and as we approach this historical event horizon, we increase the number of events we experience, and as the frequency of happenings increases, we begin to feel what is like to be all and none.
Identify with anything that is not the true center of things and you will always be experiencing the struggle. All things are happening now. All things are being experienced. And you are doing all things, except not all through your own body.
We used to live only in a planetary world. Now, we still live in a planetary world, but more of us are becoming exposed to the birthing process of the New Sun, and therefore the world is not going to be solid for a while. Not until it becomes cosmic.
The awareness of different planes is more at hand. Observe, then. Stop trying to figure out which of the narratives is the truest. There is no true narrative. You will never find the real reality of what is happening out there. Who is really controlling the world? Nobody is controlling the world. What world can survive at the core of this celestial explosion? None.
You are seeing the struggle of worlds as they merge. The more you try to make your understanding solid the more the mystery will embody your experience and destroy it. Become the mystery. Not the secrets. There are no secrets. There is just the surrounding unknown in the middle of this awareness that is forever trying to go within and forever giving of itself.
In that constant struggle between burning within myself and giving my light to the world I become one with this new being that is being born. And as I observe all my lifetimes and all my possibilities I feed my fire with all things. I love all things. I perform all things. I understand all things. I dissolve myself even as I give myself. And I find nothing to hold.
Do not despair then when you see all the confusion of the worlds outside. Do not think that this is just because you are going crazy. You are going crazy but that’s not why this is all so confusing. It’s also confusing. Stop trying to figure out what the true narrative is. All narratives are exploding and imploding. A New Sun is being born and it’s here at the core of our experience. And it’s here with the voice of the sound-that-makes that the heralding of the new light is carried.