I’ve Learned

I’ve learned to show strength
when there was weakness.

I’ve learned to lure an enemy with weakness
when there was strength.

I’ve been manipulated into someone else’s morality.

It’s the way that they say:
He’s not a tattletale.
He’s honest.
He’s kind.
He’s generous.
He’s a ‘Good Christian’.
He sacrifices for others.

It’s the way that they say anything
to get you to do what they want you to do.
It’s their own lie they plant in you.

People manipulate each other
by praising each other’s weaknesses.
When you buy into these lies
and neglect your higher duty
to not violate the moral control of others
you compromise the things and people around you
that are of that higher obligation
and there to help.

There is only one question:
What is truth?
This truth is your compass,
not the illusion presented before you.
If you know what truth is,
you will act in truth.
And what others do doesn’t matter.

It’s a game
and it’s all happening in a dreamland.

When you can think ahead 10 moves,
you’re getting good.
When you can think ahead 20 moves,
you’re an expert.

The Grandmaster see’s only one move:
the right move.

The right move is truth.
And that is always done from above.

(From a lecture by Koyote The Blind, poetically curated by Season)

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The Grain of Sand

But if it’s true that there will be other tomorrows, other dreams, and even other destinies, today today is only the surrender that pulls me; just so, without hopes or memories of other dawns, without nostalgias or hopefullies, but only with the immediate dissolution into the storm of void that the silence of the heart of your night brings to my present as the most complete word that declares a mortal end to the grain of sand that one dawn dressed up with life and came to be me.

Sin Añoranzas ni Ojalás

Y si bien habrán otras mañanas, otros sueños y hasta otros destinos, hoy por hoy tan solo la entrega me hala; así sin esperanzas ni memorias de otros amaneceres, sin añoranzas ni ojalás, sino tan solo con la inmediata disolución en la tormenta de vacío que el silencio del corazón de tu noche trae a mi presente como la más completa palabra que declara un final mortal al grano de arena que un amanecer se vistiera de vida y llegara a ser yo.

Yo que Soy Mortal

Tan solo el eterno sol en las alturas se ve más allá de la profundidad existencial de tu cuerpo. Ese sol que viaja ya más allá de todo límite y toda ilusión. Es el sol de mi más íntimo centro; y estando por encima de todo vivir y todo sentir se ve no sumergido por ti, mi bien amada, sino reflejado en cada gota de ti, pintando sus destellos en tus olas, besando tus profundidades con su ardor, y recorriendo tus vaivenes.

Yo que soy mortal me sumerjo en ti. Yo que soy eterno divino me reflejo en ti. Y al final del día, hasta el mismo sol quiere sumergirse en tu vientre, como reflejo efímero de su eterno sumergir al disolverse como estrella en el océano eterno del infinito vacío.

Happy Anniversary for the Ox and None Clerk-House of the A.’.A.’.

Nine years ago, on October 22, 2010, I established the Ox and None Clerk-House dedicated to the service of the sempiternal A.’.A.’. and to the evolution of humanity.

A reader asked, “what exactly is a Clerk House?”

Traditionally, a “clerk house” is a store front or public face of a temple, an abbey, or an esoteric school. It is the administrative center of the operations of the school with the outside world. This is the meaning of the term since the middle ages across different spiritual traditions. From this Clerk-House, the spiritual school and abbey would be coordinating and administering both the dealings with the community and the teaching curriculum for the spiritual aspirants training at the school. The external function of this Clerk-House would be to administer both the business dealings with the community that would allow the school to survive and operate, and the actions performed to serve the outside community. So, it would be in this Clerk-House that all the accounting, inventory, paperwork, and student documents would be kept.

Chapter III, verse 41, of Liber Al vel Legis says: “Establish at thy Kaaba a clerk-house: all must be done well and with business way.”

Crowley often thought of the Kaaba in the religious context of Islam. The word “Kaaba” means “cube”, and it is the center stone around which the temple is built. Crowley wanted Thelemites to think of his house by Loch Ness, Boleskine, their religion’s Kaaba. He wanted Boleskine to be to Thelemites as Mecca is to Islam. However, initiates of the A.’.A.’. understand that vertical initiatory work is internal. In this light, the verse above is interpreted in the context of the first main task of the Order: to raise your kundalini and consciousness to the center of your Ruach, your mind, and from there enter into conscious communication with the Star, which is your true Self and whose orbit is your Will.

In this light, we understand the Kaaba to be the cube at the center of your being, or the sacred magical altar around which you will construct the temple of God out of your own self, your life, your consciousness, and your body. This Kaaba is the most intimate and secret center of every person, and there we build a house where we will pray and commune with God, “a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.”

It is, therefore, in the Lover’s grade that we attempt to balance the forces and powers of the Ruach, reconciling all opposites and putting the ego under control, in order to establish a firm connection with our true Self, and from there engage in conscious communication with our Higher Self of Genius. There, under that guidance, we then proceed to next phase of the Great Work which is the manifestation of your pure will in your life.

In this initiatory blue print, to “Establish at thy Kaaba a Clerk-House”, means to set up an administrative center, a store front, at the center of your sacred cube. This sets the Clerk-House for the Adept with a dual function, as every thing in the Ruach is subject to this duality: one inner, and one outer. The administrative function of the Clerk-House in the inner sense has to do with the ordering, balancing, and administration of the different parts of the Ruach. For the Adept, this means the reconciliation of all opposites and the mastery of all aspects of the mind, constantly endeavoring to bring all the elements of the lower and higher self to a state of balance and under the direction of the center, the Sun in Tiphareth, the True Self. This is the first part of the work of an Adept. It is secret and internal. This is “putting your house in order”, as Gurdjieff put it. With the house in order, the Master of the House comes. This is when we attempt to contact the Holy Guardian Angel in a conscious manner, and then establish the methods and conditions for such a communication to continue, acquiring a trusting and reliable source of teachings, guidance, and communion with the most sacred. This is why, in the Lover’s degree, and Adept who has made this contact no longer needs an external teacher, since she has already established a connection to the true Teacher, the real Guru who is a messenger of the sempiternal A.’.A.’. above the Abyss. From then on, your guidance is internal, and from there you derive your teachings, your gnosis, and your magick.

The second part of the task of an Adept is to establish this Clerk-House in the outer, in the world. This is done under the guidance of the Holy Guardian Angel. If the first part of the task was about finding the laws of your Star and entering into conscious contact with it, the second part is about manifesting those laws in your sphere of influence, in your world. This is part of the meaning behind “thy Kindom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” In this phase of the Adept’s work, the task is to manifest the Clerk-House in the world. Each Clerk-House will be different, since each one is a manifestation of the innermost will of the Adept. This part of the task can take many years, or even a life time.

The Ox and None Clerk-House was officially established five years ago, and continues to orbit around the Star which gives its Light, Life, Love, and Liberty from the inner to the outer. As an outer expression of its Kaaba, the Ox and None Clerk-House administers and operates the training of its students, working as an abbey or esoteric school traditionally represented by a beehive. This image illustrates the manner of work and service taught to every student. We research and teach through different traditions from around the world, and many of our students are inheritors and initiates of different traditions, each one contributing to the understanding, the practices, and the technologies employed in our Clerk-House.

To sustain the efforts of the School, we produce works of art, books, street and stage performances, car washes, seminars and workshops.

To service the community, we bring to the community, free of charge, training in arts and craft, the sacred art of The Telling, free weekly lectures and teachings, sweat lodges and vision quests, dream circles, healing, cine forums, and readings for the dying. All of these are given as an offering to everyone. Other ways of service are in the planning stage.

In this time, we have trained hundreds of practitioners on the Aka Dua, and raised four adepts to Level V: Sharla Sanchez of The Dreamers’ Den, Dr. Arlan Cage of the Aka Dua Institute of Energy Healing, Phyllis Douglass of Integrated Mind-Body Therapies, and Pilar Gamboa of Xicoco Shamanic Arts.

One school of Toltec teachings has been established in Mount Shasta, under the leadership of Golden Eagle. One Clerk-Hose has been established in the inner plane, the Silence and Strength Clerk-House (more on this soon).

Finally, the Medicine Wheel is being rebuilt at a permanent site for meditation and prayer, open to everyone.

The training itself is also free, but the student body is at maximum capacity at this time. The training is very engaging, committed, and exacting. At this point, we cannot accept new applicants, but everyone is welcome to participate in our weekly lectures, cine forums, and all the other community events we offer. If you live far from Riverside, our lectures and cine forums are broadcasted live on LiveStream, in the Koyote The Blind channel.

This is a very dynamic community of practitioners and students. It won’t be long until other students will open their own clerk houses and thus open the doors of the teaching to a wider circle, each one attracting very different people because everyone is learning to connect with their own Star and evolve their own life into a unique source of service to humanity.

Much has been accomplished in these first none years of the Clerk House, and in the 11 years of service of the School as the Xicoco Shamanic Arts. Tonight, we drink and celebrate for all my relations, and for the benefit of All Beings Everywhere!

I Submerge Myself in You

Only the eternal Sun in the heights is beyond the existential depths of your body.

It’s a star that travels beyond all limit and all illusion.

It is the sun of my most intimate center, and being above all life and all sense, finds itself not submerged by you, beloved of mine, but reflected in each drop of you, painting his gleam on your waves, kissing your depths with his ardour, and surfing your undulations.

I, who am mortal, submerge myself in you. I, who am eternal divine, reflect myself in you.

And at the end of the day, even the sun himself wants to submerge in your womb, as ephemeral reflection of his eternal submersion when dissolving as star in the eternal ocean of the infinite void.

Alero de Todas mis Iniquidades

Al crecer te escuchaba cuando me hablabas con mis pensamientos, cuando me susurrabas en la consciencia, cuando irradiabas tu beso en mi íntimo sentir.

No importaba si tu respondías con silencio o con inspiración, el punto es que cada palabra, obra y omisión la sentía recibida; y por tanto cada palabra, obra y omisión era siempre ofrecida a ti, mi eterno acompañante, mi aliado en todo, el dios de todos mis rezos, la musa de todas mis inspiraciones, y el alero de todas mis iniquidades.

La Lejanía Inmensa de tu Voz

Y es preciso en este instante en el que veo el silencioso titiriteo de las estrellas que han recorrido no solo el vasto océano vacío, sino también un inmenso océano de tiempo para poder estar aquí, como luz y como silencio entre ruidos y oscuridades.

Pero veo aún más, infinitamente más.

Veo claramente que precisamente así tú, mi bien amada, has emanado tu silencio y tu luz a travez de las profundidades del abismo de vacío para que mis ojos puedan abrirse, para que mis oídos escuchen tus silencios, para que mi mente se disuelva en las lejanías inmensas de la eternidad de tu voz.

The True Nature of Suffering

Suffering is nothing but the shadow cast by the light of the Sun upon the Earth. The Sun within itself, in its unity, does not cast a shadow. The shadow of suffering is only the natural result of the interference.

The Absolute is, when in its true center, not subject to division and therefore not subject to suffering. The suffering of the Absolute is only a result of the division caused by the descent through the Abyss. Duality and division are caused in that descent of the Absolute into each and every one of us (who host or carry that consciousness, that light of the Star which is truly our deepest nature).

To immerse oneself in the little suffering of one’s own shadow, and to declare such little suffering to be the true nature of existence is to close your eyes to the light of your true nature.

If you do that, you simply perpetuate the misery of your own lie, as if your shadow is real (negating even the necessary truth of the light that must shine for a shadow to emerge).