The Silent Nothing Behind the Self

The future seems
like it hasn’t happened
yet,
but it is like another room
in your house,
and you just have to walk
into it.
You have been moving through
aeons of life
in one form
or another,
and this human
experience is only
a fraction of
what you have
been experiencing.
Disengage your consciousness
from what the senses
are experiencing
now.
Even the thought
that says
“I Am”
is not really
you.

~Poetically curated notes by Season Cole from a lecture by Koyote The Blind.

The Esoteric Teachings Are for the Essence, Not for the Personality.

These teachings are not concerned with the development of your personality. They are not designed to make you more popular or more likeable. They are not designed to make you richer, to give you better relations. They are not designed to boost your self esteem, to give you a better memory, to be calmer, happier, or more successful. They are designed to benefit the essence so that the essence can be transformed into a soul.

It will be transformed into a soul the way a worm goes into a chrysalis and is transformed into a butterfly.

Most people do not concern themselves with growing a soul, because every institution has told them that they already got one. Therefore, they do not make any efforts to grow one. Once they do, they nourish the seed dormant in every body, the seed that descended as pure awareness from the vastness of sentience of the dreamer of the universe.

These teachings, then, are not for the personality. They are meant to show the essence how to allow the personality to break apart, decompose, and absorb it as the seed absorbs the fruit that holds it.

(Click here to preorder my book, Teachings of a Toltec Survivor)

The World Was Born When You Were Born

When you were born, the Tonal was there only as potential. It was surrounding you, nurturing you. You knew the Tonal only as an all-encompassing feeling. You did not distinguish between one feature of it and another. You did not say, “This is my mother, and this is a crib.” It was all the same. It was feeding you; it was carrying you into sleep, protecting your form. That’s all you knew.

As time went by, your assemblage point was fixed, and the world became what it is now, and you were able to name and distinguish things. So you looked at your mother and said, “Mama,” and you looked at your father and said, “Not the mama.” And you looked at your toys and said, “Mine.” And then you looked at your neighbor’s toys and said, “Mine.” And then someone beat you up—usually your neighbor’s kid when you took his toys—and you learned to share, out of the goodness of your heart.

From my upcoming book: The Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

We Are the Prehistory of the Human Being

Having a human body and a human nervous system, we share on the collective karma of humanity. All humanity shares one mind, and this mind has done all the things humanity has done. Sometimes, we can remember having inhabited the beings performing all things. We have been killers and have been killed. And that’s such a minute part of what is possible.

We are babes in a cosmic womb. We haven’t been born yet. We are not real yet. We are here in this egg we call planetary existence and one day we will hatch, grow wings, and take the cosmic flight in wings of cosmic radiance. One day, we will become true human beings, sharing on the cosmic awareness of the eternal.

Right now, we are not done with your evolution. Right now, we are not yet complete human beings. This is still the sixth day of biblical creation. The human being is being created in the image of Ometeotl, the supreme entity. We are not real human beings yet. We are the prehistory of the Human Being.

We are the remote past of Hueman, the Nahual in human mold, Old Grandfather, the Avatar of the Absolute.

Click here to check out my upcoming book: Teachings of a Toltec Survivor.

This Body You Wear

This being inside whom you are living has accumulated desires, experiences, maps, notions, ideas, and behaviors. You wear this being like a space suit that carries you through organic life. If you identify with it, it would carry you with it. If it chooses to allow you in, then you can direct it. It can surrender those accidental whims and desires, surrender all of that to your influence. Then it benefits from you and you can exercise your Will. You become able to do.

It becomes able to be. You, as an essence already know how to be. You cannot cease to be. Not without help, anyway. You know how to be; you can’t avoid it.

At the death of this being, you continue to be. But you cannot do. In order to do you must have a body.

You are inside this animal who is afraid of you, who is afraid of itself, afraid of being eaten, afraid of being an animal, but that’s what it is.

Don’t domesticate it; make a pact with it. Give your Higher Will to it. Allow it to do for you, with you. Your only chance of working in this realm, in this sphere, is through a body like this one whose life you are living right now.

To read more on my upcoming book, click here.

Lucía Through the Shell

When I was in the fifth grade, I had a good friend named Lucía. I called her that because she was born when I was shinning a light behind her shell. It looked like the glow of life came from her as she was stirring alive and broke through this side of life.

My abuelita gave her to me to raise. I carried her warm fuzzy frailty in my hands for the 100 kilometers trip back to the city. She took residence in the small cement square we called a patio, where the water basin was.

I came to visit and speak with her every day after school. She didn’t like to play, but she enjoyed listening. She liked it when I’d tell the cats not to approach, and when I trained the dog to see her as my friend. I failed to train my aunt, who served Lucía to me one afternoon. My older brother laughed at the surprise on my face when I came to the patio after lunch and didn’t find my friend. “You just ate her!,” he mocked.

I covered the real feeling pulsating above my belly, under my heart. I didn’t want him to see. I masked my inner reality with rage, as if the mockery was the only thing I minded. The real feeling, I carried with me safely through life, holding its fuzzy fragility in a tiny square of my solar plexus where a glow of light forever listens and waits.

This Lifetime Is a Simulation

This lifetime you have been experiencing has been a simulation. You can take your body, feelings, emotions, and personal history, as a hologram that still needs to be created and transformed.

How do you come to see this?

By seeing yourself, every moment, as an eternal being projected into a shifting and every changing dream. Train your perception by constantly seeing your experience as a dream.

Where is this dream coming from? It comes from where every dream comes. It is a projection from the same source where your sense of self is created. See the world around you? That is a dream. At the center of this dream, find your own center of attention, always engaged with the dream. That which carries this attention, you call your self.

You are a vehicle for your attention. Your vehicle is also part of the dream.

Your life and the self that is experiencing your lifetime are projections from a hidden, vast, and unknowable source. It dreams all dreams, and dreams itself over and over as the self of every sentient being.

How can you trigger the transformation of the hologram? How do you make this dream evolve into a transformational experience?

Go beyond seeing your experience as a dream, and see all sentient beings as the avatars of the same infinite unknown behind your own sentience.

Be a friend of He who is behind all sentient beings and who is inside each instant.

Read more in my soon to be released Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

We Create the World to Act in the Face of the Immensity

When a baby is born, they have a brain full of neural connections ready to take on the programming. The baby begins by not having a fixed world. It does have a Tonal but it is elusive, not fixed. The delimitations between the Tonal and the Nahual are ephemeral at best, and the child keeps moving between this world and other possible worlds. We begin to concentrate the attention of that child to this world with our teachings and what we allow the child to see, and the world is thus consolidated. The way this happens is physical, by pruning and by getting rid of neural connections. There is constant pruning for five to seven years. The baby begins to eliminate parts of his brain because he has to have what is necessary in this world. When you encounter a situation, or when you enter a room (this is how the brain works), your nervous system picks up on a few cues about the room, and that makes you realize which program you should be running. It’s an efficiency mechanism.

When you go home to your children, spouse, and parents, you find yourself in very familiar situations. The sets of programs you have for those situations are very limited. The triggers abound and the program runs automatically. You don’t need to decide what to do; you already know. When you see a face, you recognize it from just a few visual points within the face.

When we are in our office, and we see that face with certain similarities, we already know who it belongs to. Your nervous system, to save time and energy, does not bother with picking up the signals every single time. It just picks up a few, runs the program, and puts the familiar face in it. If you put all your attention into that face, the program is not running; you are receiving the data and it is completely new.

So, imagine that someone were to tell you that when you are born you easily stare into the face of God. To see that face now would require far too much attention. So instead, you run your program called “the world,” “reality,” “the Tonal.” This program allows you to act without being rendered incapable of acting due to the awe, the influx of infinite information.

To act in the face of the immensity of the real, we construct a world. To act, yes, but also to be able to adumbrate a piece of the infinite, and through that construct we hope to one day see the luminous truth beyond all appearances.

Pre-Order Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

I Am Not Here

If you destroy my body right now, it would be an inconvenience, but that’s it. I am not here. My consciousness, my sense of self, is somewhere outside this Tonal. I project myself from someplace else, and I move my hands and speak and allow something to come forth from a remote distance. This body receives impressions and I sense them; and sometimes, when the connection is turned off, what remains is a human body with a personality, with the same concerns and fears as anyone else’s; with a little more information, training, and abilities that I wouldn’t have otherwise; but nothing beyond this realm.

Just like with a video game, the player is outside the game and moving that character about. I am not in the service of the person you see. This body of mine is being created, maintained, and directed in the service of something else, something that to this realm is like the player is to the computer. And I can be here or I can move away. I am the screen upon which the story of the works is projected.

Koyote was a name given at some point, and then it became active, and it began to eat my heart and penetrate every nervous fiber on my body, like a root canal. It was that painful, an it burrowed into every nerve and gland until it ate the body all up. Now, my essence looks like my vehicle.