The Watcher

Every thought comes and goes.
Every second of time comes and goes.
Every aspiration comes and goes.
Every lifetime I’ve had, it comes and goes.
Every second of time, it comes and goes.

Every flicker of time, it comes and goes.
The watcher watches; and when I move,
the watcher watches.
When I dance, the watcher watches.
When I love, the watcher watches.
When I kill and consume the flesh of my enemy,
the watcher watches.
When I sin of hatred, the watcher watches.
When I sin for love, the watcher watches.
When I pray to God, the watcher watches.
When I blaspheme against God, the watcher watches.

The watcher watches all the time;
and it does not change;
it does not move.
The watcher watches;
and the watcher inside me is what the five watchers
perched on the Tree of Life,
vulture like,
beady eyes,
and through the darkness within them,
watch the watcher within.

(The Watchers, from Koyote’s Angelic Host series)

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Ego is a useful tool

To really destroy the ego would be as useful as destroying the body, intelligence, creativity, language, etc. The ego is a construct we create to navigate and experience this world. Why get rid of it—eve if such a thing could be functionally possible? No, the ego is a magnificent tool. We must learn to use it well. The key, unlike many falsely teach, is not to destroy it, and not even to weaken it.

The key is to make it an efficient, well crafted, strong, and equilibrated tool. To do this, you must not let the ego be the boss of you. It is a part of you and your tool. The ego that ignores the master is unbalanced, afraid, and out of control. Train it well, keep it healthy and strong, and it will be a worthy avatar to your earthly experience.

The loud roaring silence

As a child, sitting at the beach of El Espino in El Salvador, I would look ahead of me and I would see a horizon where the blue water kissed the blue sky. And I would wonder about that line that divided the heaven and the ocean. It was thin—maybe not really there.

It was there just so I could see it and imagine a separation between the two. And as I tried to penetrate that almost visible barrier, I would notice that the periphery of my eyes would widen, almost as wide as the ocean. And I sat there with my small eyes, with my small mind, in this small world, almost able to hold the immensity of the ocean.

It was vast. Huge. I could not hold it in my thoughts. Any thought I begun to have about it would be washed away with that roar, with that sound, deafening all over—a busy silence. Before every thought formulated in my mind: silence. After every thought: silence. And all around the thought, that loud roaring silence of the ocean.

Awakening is the Ultimate Heresy

This brain of yours is, right now, creating the world. It is, at the same time, forming scientific hypotheses about the universe. It is doing this not only at the social level, but also at the natural and even the spiritual level.

The process of awakening has to do with taking these processes of the brain and bring them to a conscious level. It is about becoming conscious of the assumptions that you are making when you are defining yourself, and the assumptions that you are making when you are face to face with the infinite.

The brain is doing all this in a mater that is unconscious to you. Automatic. Make them conscious, and voluntary.

Your family, your tribe, takes care of giving you the assumptions, the foundations, and principles that let you navigate the world.

Eventually, society takes over and provides you with the stories, the narratives, that allow you to know what group to identify with, what beliefs to hold, how to behave with other people, and how to behave when you are alone.

Then, religion takes over to tell you how to think about god, and how to behave in the face of the infinite

The Great Work is, in a way, a work of heresy where you begin to discard what religion tells you.

You begin to set aside all the identities and assumptions that the social group has given you: all the identifications with a race, a nation, a religion. All identifications with a human group being to be set aside as programs that have invaded your system. A lot of these programs have kept you trapped in a form that is limited, and are not your real self.

Even the way that we perceive nature has to be questioned, analyzed, and reformed in a conscious manner, so that what we are, what the world is, and what the universe is can be approached as a great mystery—as a unique path that will lead us to a lifelong adventure of discovery. To know thyself, as the oracle of Delphi commanded, and as socrates told his students, is not only to know your identity—with all its preferences and histories—but to know that you are not that at all. It is to know the limits you have imposed on yourself. To know that manner in which you were educated by family, culture, country, and religion; and how they have provided limits for yourself, because they has created an avatar that functions on behalf of those religions, countries, and artificial human groups.

This great work is an ultimate act of rebellion where you dare to stand alone, to disrobe yourself of all your programs and all your identities, and to face the empty void only as a silent presence. Then you can look at everything again, from this perspective, and pick and choose your experiences, your hypothesis, your assumptions. Pick them consciously, and they’ll go from being unconscious assumptions to being tools for you to use; as a carpenter uses and chooses a hammer, a saw, a nail.

Ultimately, there is beyond the center of centers, there, at the origin of your attention, beyond the sense of self, the origin of all you are. This is the God that creates the world that you perceive. This is the God that sustains the life of the one that says ”I Am”. This god within has been considered the greatest of heresies of all the religions that have made a world of worship, the have created a culture that sees them, and only them, as the true intermediaries between you and god. Their success, strength and wealth has depended on you believing that you are not god; that you are only a limited ego that is a suffering fool whose only possibility of happiness depends on the graces of an external, remote god, and whose only intermediary is the church.

In this unholy trinity, a tyranny of a remote father and a tyrannical mother, are placed the only source of redemption for a child that never grows. But the truth is that the Holy Father is you, not your ego, not your identity, not even your memories, but you—the one behind the curtains of perception. You are the true God, and this vessel of flesh and mind that contains the history of humanity, that contains all knowledge and experiences, that contains the good and the bad, that contains all the teachings, and all the words of all the masters is the true church.

The marriage between God and the church produces, outside of you, the kingdom of heaven—always new, always created, always reflecting the will of god. In this Kingdom outside, the world created anew, is a true reflection of the inner marriage between the true God and the true church. This union is the true wine of ecstasy that brings the satiation of our deepest aspirations. Those who would keep humanity enslaved will tell you that it is a great heresy to believe in this God within. And I tell you that you have nothing to believe. No belief is necessary. You have to approach this as a true scientist, a true explorer of the inner spaces, and seek for yourself the knowledge of your true essence, of that which is silence and infinite, of that which is true beyond all forms, beyond all time—the center of yourself.

Seek within your heart, not the emotional or physical heart, but the center of yourself. There, you will find it. Silent. Vastly infinitesimal. All knower. Creator. Maintainer. Destroyer of all worlds. Look for the god within. Commit the ultimate heresy, and make contact with your true self.

http://toltecsurvivor.libsyn.com/the-great-work-is-the-ultimate-heresy

 

 

 

 

I Am—the Fallen Angel

Look within and know that which says I Am—”I am forever isolated. Always surrounded by everything else but unable yet to merge, to melt, to become one with the All; always separate from the beloved; always longing to become, to achieve, to obtain.”

Find that piece of you that suffers; the part that feels unique and separate.

Find that piece, and you will find within the seed of the Fallen Angel who longs for the voice of the Creator, who looks everywhere for the light of the Beloved.

Find the silence within, and know that you are the Fallen One, the First Created. Know that you are that which contains within itself the presence and memory of the time when everything is one, undivided, full of joy and union. Know that even in your darkest hour, you suffer only because you contain within yourself the seed of love and surrender.

This gnosis is the memory of having witnessed the first light emerging from the horizon. It is not the light of the Sun, but the light of the Morning Star that heralds the coming of the Sun. It is a light so pure, so deep, and so all-encompassing, that it destroys all shadows.

But since everything that is known is shadow, the pure light will make the known disappear into the light of reality. The shadows that we were holding on to will vanish, giving light to an awakening of the senses. And the fears that plagued our dreaming, sleeping mind will disperse like cobwebs.

The light of the Sun will then spring eternal from the heart, giving light to the eyes, joy to the heart, and movement to the body. Life and death will no longer be separate, but coexist as one impulse. Aspiration, word, thought and deed will be one, when the Sun comes.

(Check out my Toltec Survivor podcast)