They and We: dedicated to the native resistance, and the people of Cuzcatlan

They took our lands.
We give our fruits.

They took our language.
We give our poems.

They denied our gods.
We give our prayers.

They changed our names.
We gather under The Tree.

They took our water.
We give our thirst.

They tortured us.
With our tears we clean the soul.

They massacred us.
Our blood feeds the future.

They buried us deep,
but we are seeds.

They erased our memories.
We remember the coming of the New Sun.

–Koyote the Blind

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This Body You Wear

This being inside whom you are living has accumulated desires, experiences, maps, notions, ideas, and behaviors. You wear this being like a space suit that carries you through organic life. If you identify with it, it would carry you with it. If it chooses to allow you in, then you can direct it. It can surrender those accidental whims and desires, surrender all of that to your influence. Then it benefits from you and you can exercise your Will. You become able to do.

It becomes able to be. You, as an essence already know how to be. You cannot cease to be. Not without help, anyway. You know how to be; you can’t avoid it.

At the death of this being, you continue to be. But you cannot do. In order to do you must have a body.

You are inside this animal who is afraid of you, who is afraid of itself, afraid of being eaten, afraid of being an animal, but that’s what it is.

Don’t domesticate it; make a pact with it. Give your Higher Will to it. Allow it to do for you, with you. Your only chance of working in this realm, in this sphere, is through a body like this one whose life you are living right now.

To read more on my upcoming book, click here.

Lucía Through the Shell

When I was in the fifth grade, I had a good friend named Lucía. I called her that because she was born when I was shinning a light behind her shell. It looked like the glow of life came from her as she was stirring alive and broke through this side of life.

My abuelita gave her to me to raise. I carried her warm fuzzy frailty in my hands for the 100 kilometers trip back to the city. She took residence in the small cement square we called a patio, where the water basin was.

I came to visit and speak with her every day after school. She didn’t like to play, but she enjoyed listening. She liked it when I’d tell the cats not to approach, and when I trained the dog to see her as my friend. I failed to train my aunt, who served Lucía to me one afternoon. My older brother laughed at the surprise on my face when I came to the patio after lunch and didn’t find my friend. “You just ate her!,” he mocked.

I covered the real feeling pulsating above my belly, under my heart. I didn’t want him to see. I masked my inner reality with rage, as if the mockery was the only thing I minded. The real feeling, I carried with me safely through life, holding its fuzzy fragility in a tiny square of my solar plexus where a glow of light forever listens and waits.

This Lifetime Is a Simulation

This lifetime you have been experiencing has been a simulation. You can take your body, feelings, emotions, and personal history, as a hologram that still needs to be created and transformed.

How do you come to see this?

By seeing yourself, every moment, as an eternal being projected into a shifting and every changing dream. Train your perception by constantly seeing your experience as a dream.

Where is this dream coming from? It comes from where every dream comes. It is a projection from the same source where your sense of self is created. See the world around you? That is a dream. At the center of this dream, find your own center of attention, always engaged with the dream. That which carries this attention, you call your self.

You are a vehicle for your attention. Your vehicle is also part of the dream.

Your life and the self that is experiencing your lifetime are projections from a hidden, vast, and unknowable source. It dreams all dreams, and dreams itself over and over as the self of every sentient being.

How can you trigger the transformation of the hologram? How do you make this dream evolve into a transformational experience?

Go beyond seeing your experience as a dream, and see all sentient beings as the avatars of the same infinite unknown behind your own sentience.

Be a friend of He who is behind all sentient beings and who is inside each instant.

Read more in my soon to be released Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

The Tonal is the Screen We Place To Withstand the Visage of God

At the moment, you are staring eye to eye into the face of God, and your body is configured in the same way that the Absolute is configured, in a one-to-one relation to it; and the elements that compose your physical body, your emotional body, and your energy body are made up of the substances that were forged in the stars, active and going from the beginning of this universe.

You have all that already. How to access that and how to make that into something that’s useful to you, is a teaching that should not be a secret. The vision of the objective reality is kept away from you, primarily, by this illusion that you have programmed into your system—the illusion that we call the ordinary. We create this program of the ordinary, and we do this in order to be able to go on autopilot. It allows us to operate in this realm asleep, lazy, laid back and relaxed. If you eliminate that program, you find yourself in a jungle of light and information overload, where you don’t know who you are or what’s going on around you.

I have no idea who I am. Even when I talk about my personal history, that’s just something I plugged myself into; it’s not me. It happens to have a connection to the Toltecs, and for some reason, that seemed to be exotic or sexy for some, or maybe it’s meaningless to you. It doesn’t matter to me. I just happen to be plugged into this lifetime. This body that was born will one day die, and between birth and death it seems to be doing things and have a life. When I put all my lifetime together, I see a four-dimensional worm with a point of origin, an extension through time, and an end. It is just something I have plugged myself into right now. The program that allows you to function without having to feel lost in this jungle of light and information is the Tonal. It allows you to relax, to say, “Hello, I am so and so.” This world is created because of a feature of your body that we call the assemblage point.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE IN TEACHINGS OF A TOLTEC SURVIVOR

The Great Magician and The Black Sheep

We tell a story of a sheepherder who happened to be a magician, and a very lazy one. He didn’t want to bother to build a fence to keep the sheep inside. The sheep were always escaping and exposing themselves to danger. The magician decided to employ his abilities to keep the sheep inside, hypnotizing them. He made them believe that they were free and safe inside the fence. In fact, he made them believe that whenever he fleeced them, that it was for their benefit. Once in a while, one would disappear, and the sheep were conditioned to believe that she had gone to a better place. In fact, he not only convinced them that he was acting for their benefit, but that they were not sheep at all, that they were human beings. Some thought that they were doctors, lawyers, priests, business people, seekers on a spiritual quest—all approved by the great magician, of course. They thought they were attaining powers and learning secrets. Of course, if they did not know that they were sheep, they would never try to change their situation for real; they would never try to escape; never attempt to evolve. Some even thought that they were magicians and knew the secrets; and all of them had the same fate.

Now, there were a few sheep whose fleece was not as valuable because they were black. Black wool was not as useful as white in the marketplace, so the magician did not pay as much attention to the black sheep, only the white. So, some of the black sheep woke up because the magician wasn’t making sure they remained hypnotized. They realized what they were and what they were doing there. If one black sheep knew the truth and tried to tell the others, the hundreds of white sheep would not listen. Why would they? After all, they were having good lives. They had their problems in their fake realities, but they were fine. Some black sheep managed to escape, and many of those succumbed to predators, but they were free.

Eventually, you had some spotted sheep. With those you could never tell: sometimes they would learn their nature and sometimes not. Of those who knew, some would decide to stay with the white sheep and become completely white.

Most of us are spotted. Part of us wants to be free; part of us wants to be taken care of by the Great Magician. That’s why I say, be careful with your gifts. Some of those are fake, given by the Great Magician. Someone said to me, upon hearing this story, “Be careful with your words because they can get you in trouble.”

I make my words so they get me in trouble. I am at war with the Great Magician. I am the black sheep. I am black, all black. My wool is not for the marketplace. My wool is the obsidian black of the eternal night sky, and its shine is the silence of the endless.

Read more in Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

Double-Headed Eagle

At the highest realm of existence, what the Egyptians called the Sun Absolute and the Toltecs called the Double-Headed Eagle—because when it spreads its wings, all these rays come out to form multiple universes—will ultimately devour you and all that exists. It is the origin of all, and the ultimate destiny of all.

When you die, you are food for that supreme entity. Your body and all its substances are eaten by Mother Earth. If we have managed to form any sort of higher bodies, astral, etheric, Buddhic, angelic, etc., most of them are eaten by other forces at death. What remains of your essence is eaten by the eagle or taken by the Sun Absolute.

One of the tricks of the Man and Woman of Knowledge is to develop in themselves a very attractive package made of personal power, of whatever abilities they can muster, and at the moment of death, have the eagle eat that, but not him. Offer up a human sacrifice.

So, don’t waste those abilities in petty pursuits: give them up for God

(Read more in my upcoming book: Teachings of a Toltec Survivor)

The Watcher

Every thought comes and goes.
Every second of time comes and goes.
Every aspiration comes and goes.
Every lifetime I’ve had, it comes and goes.
Every second of time, it comes and goes.

Every flicker of time, it comes and goes.
The watcher watches; and when I move,
the watcher watches.
When I dance, the watcher watches.
When I love, the watcher watches.
When I kill and consume the flesh of my enemy,
the watcher watches.
When I sin of hatred, the watcher watches.
When I sin for love, the watcher watches.
When I pray to God, the watcher watches.
When I blaspheme against God, the watcher watches.

The watcher watches all the time;
and it does not change;
it does not move.
The watcher watches;
and the watcher inside me is what the five watchers
perched on the Tree of Life,
vulture like,
beady eyes,
and through the darkness within them,
watch the watcher within.

(The Watchers, from Koyote’s Angelic Host series)

Her all-consuming touch

She comes to me naked, in the purity of her presence, without the garments of light, sounds, life and thought.

I’ve known her longer than myself. I’ve known her before I, before time, before the memory of her.

I have seemed to forget her, and in the dark dungeons of forgetfulness, in that mindless chaos of existence, I looked for her.

She was there, always, hidden in every desire and every which pain.

Behind every corner of thought, peeking or waiting at the periphery of the horizon of time and experience, she shines eternally in relentless and unwavering wait.

She weaves and undoes the endless tapestry of existence phenomenal, waiting for the beloved to come to her as vagabond, worthless suitor, with his only claim in the secret chamber of his heart–an arrow certain and true.

She comes to me naked, silent, and I am blinded and deafened by her all consuming touch.