Alero de Todas mis Iniquidades

Al crecer te escuchaba cuando me hablabas con mis pensamientos, cuando me susurrabas en la consciencia, cuando irradiabas tu beso en mi íntimo sentir.

No importaba si tu respondías con silencio o con inspiración, el punto es que cada palabra, obra y omisión la sentía recibida; y por tanto cada palabra, obra y omisión era siempre ofrecida a ti, mi eterno acompañante, mi aliado en todo, el dios de todos mis rezos, la musa de todas mis inspiraciones, y el alero de todas mis iniquidades.

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Pregnant with Your Light

Pregnant with your light, I hold the pen with my fingers. The old mind attempts to give birth, but silence wins this battle.

And just like that, without reason or purpose the pen touches the empty paper, and together give sense and direction to the whirlwind of silence that your breath impregnated in my being.

It started precisely like this, as the small particle of ink that doesn’t amount even to a drop, that has no sense or reason but that without possible barrier initiates by subtle and delicate movement of wrist and fingers the letters and words of torrential light that give expression to that which inundates me in plenitude.

Like this, at last, comes a clamor for you. Like this materializes in the expressionless void a river of ink and word that perhaps one day might reach the vast sea. Or perhaps it will never reach, and will simply evaporate drop by drop, becoming imperceptible vapor, one with the sky, without direction or ambition until some day comes to be storm, dew, or rainbow in the sky blue.

–Koyote (translated from Spanish) 06-13-2015

I Find You in the Silence

I find you in the silence of the ‘I’ that is never there, and I know myself in the certainty of your undeniable presence.

I hear you in the encounter. I encounter you in the silence, when the ‘I’ no longer speaks and no longer acts.

There, in the midst of action and word without the separated self; there, in the union of the one who acts and the one who observes; there we are silence, act, and naught.

The Roaring of Her Voice

As I sat there listening to the roaring of her voice, knowing that behind me there was a jungle of life, and in front of me an ocean of time,

I could see the immensity in front of me; and behind me, the void. Everything and nothing behind me––just empty space. All that there was, was the ocean before me. All I could hear were her stories, but the stories kept coming one after the other. The images of origins and endings, beginnings and nevermores were here inside me and outside of me, and as the ocean was inside my mind, bursting it open, I couldn’t tell the difference between the ocean in me and the ocean outside.

I had no idea where I was. I had no idea what I was hearing. Voices came and went until every word, and every concept, and every memory lost any proportion and meaning. It was just sounds until no longer could I remember who or what I was, what I was hearing, what was she saying––only that reverberation that was felt through skin and spine, only the wailing until nothing else could be had, until that point of reference which is I was barely there.

Yeah. There I was, just a point of view, barely there. I, perceiving the ocean, hearing the stories. The almost I. The barely I. The uncreated. The eternal. That nothing that was not absent. That point which was ceasing to be. Unmanifested. Uncreated.

Something sat, maybe. I cannot really tell you for I did not see it sitting. There was an immensity, I believe so now. I can’t really say. For compared to what could that be an immensity?

There was a vastness that came and went that would give me moments of reprieve, when I could collect myself and think maybe enough to know myself as the teller of stories, as the thinker of thoughts, as the one who yearns for the kiss of that vastness whence I came.

I could never have enough time to consolidate this long enough before she would take me again, before my point of view would change to being a vast something that had existed from the beginning of time and will continue to exist until the end of time when the last flame in the last star goes off.

Do Not Waste Time

Here is the third and last commandment left by Ce Acatl Topilttzin Quetzalcoatl to his four high priests:

“Do not waste the time given to you by Ometeotl, the divine dual-trinity, on this world. Labor day and night towards the good without wasting time, for you shall not know if you will live again, if you shall know your true visage there in the world of true existence. Take prudent advantage of your lifetime.”

We Toltecas learn to use death as an advisor. This doesn’t mean we brood over the certainty of death, nor that we adopt metaphysical views about it. We simply use the certainty of the end of all things, including the end of this dream of life, to help us know that this moment is of extreme importance.

More in Tolteca 3:

http://amzn.com/B010NUJH1Y

Preñado de tu Luz

Preñado de tu luz sostengo la pluma en mis dedos. La mente vieja intenta dar a luz, pero el silencio gana esta batalla.

Y así nomás, sin porqué ni para qué la pluma toca el papel vacío y juntos dan sentido y rumbo al torbellino de silencio que tu aliento impregnó en mi ser.

Comenzó precisamente así, como la diminuta partícula de tinta que ni gota llega a ser, que no tiene sentido ni razón pero que sin barrera posible da comienzo por movimiento sutil y delicado de muñeca y dedos a las letras y palabras de luz torrencial que plasman al fin lo que me inunda a plenitud.

Así sale al fin un clamor a ti. Así se plasma en el vacío sin expresión un arroyo de tinta y palabra que quizás un día llegue al vasto mar. O quizás no llegue nunca, y tan solo se evapore gota a gota convirtiéndose en inperceptible vapor, uno con el cielo, sin rumbo ni ambición. Hasta que algún día llegue a ser tormenta, rocio, o arcoiris en el cielo azul.

––Koyote. junio 13, 2015

God Fearing

The god-fearing are victims of their ignorance. Ignorance is not knowing who you truly are. Ignorant of their true nature, they believe the little gods of their imagination have created them. The more they fear, the more they channel the force of fear to create a world full of evidence that they are powerless. They become trapped by the power of their own ignorance. The gods they created are placed as guardians of their prison.

The free human being does not draw from the power of fear.

The people of knowledge, free from ignorance, do not hold guards to keep them trapped. They are free from belief, and free from fear.

There’s Only a Continuum of Sentience Between You and the Universe.

Picture yourself in the middle of a sentient universe, a conscious being who reaches within because there is nothing outside. It reaches within. It folds upon itself, exploring different levels of sentience until energy is manifested and matter is formed. I want you to picture that as a process of folding upon itself and unfolding out into experience.

This sentience is going within to know itself. It is perceiving itself on different levels, as pure intelligence, then as sound, and then as light. After becoming light, this supreme being experiences itself as cosmos, as galaxies, and finally as planetary existence.

It is not that it is creating sound and then it creates light, and then it creates stars, and then it creates planets, and then it creates things. It’s more that every layer is itself and it has a continuous unfolding of consciousness—knowing itself at different levels.

To give an example of how this is a continuum you may consider the nature of matter itself. Everything that we call matter is composed of atomic particles, and each atom is composed of subatomic particles, electrons, protons, neutrons, etc. Each one of these particles is a packet of energy, a vibration that exists for a time. The relationship between these particles is what creates what we know as the material world.

From the moment when there is light in the Universe, this same light has been coming together as vibration creating stars, creating galaxies, creating planets, creating moons, people, plants, animals, rocks and everything. There is no substantial difference between matter and energy. It is all a continuum. Matter is slowed down energy. The only distinction between matter and energy is in our conception of it, how we relate to it, how we think of it, but it is all part of the same continuum.

In that same way, there is no real difference between the mind of God and the physical universe. It is all a continuum of sentience.

What’s with All the Narratives Out There?

In the process of birthing the New Sun, which is also the process of creating the Human Being, we will see all the worlds melting as they approach the core of being, and then dissolve. You will experience all possibilities, and will seem to be performing all things; because even the consciousness of humanity is becoming one at the same time that it’s becoming all.

The human mind is one. One mind operating in the human being, but it is being experienced by every body in a different way. So, my nervous system, my experience, my language, and my personal history are a particular instantiation of the human experience––and so is yours and everybody else’s. There is no such thing as my mind and your mind. There is my experience and your experience, but the mind is one.

This over-mind is experiencing through each of us, and as we approach this historical event horizon, we increase the number of events we experience, and as the frequency of happenings increases, we begin to feel what is like to be all and none.

Identify with anything that is not the true center of things and you will always be experiencing the struggle. All things are happening now. All things are being experienced. And you are doing all things, except not all through your own body.

We used to live only in a planetary world. Now, we still live in a planetary world, but more of us are becoming exposed to the birthing process of the New Sun, and therefore the world is not going to be solid for a while. Not until it becomes cosmic.

The awareness of different planes is more at hand. Observe, then. Stop trying to figure out which of the narratives is the truest. There is no true narrative. You will never find the real reality of what is happening out there. Who is really controlling the world? Nobody is controlling the world. What world can survive at the core of this celestial explosion? None.

You are seeing the struggle of worlds as they merge. The more you try to make your understanding solid the more the mystery will embody your experience and destroy it. Become the mystery. Not the secrets. There are no secrets. There is just the surrounding unknown in the middle of this awareness that is forever trying to go within and forever giving of itself.

In that constant struggle between burning within myself and giving my light to the world I become one with this new being that is being born. And as I observe all my lifetimes and all my possibilities I feed my fire with all things. I love all things. I perform all things. I understand all things. I dissolve myself even as I give myself. And I find nothing to hold.

Do not despair then when you see all the confusion of the worlds outside. Do not think that this is just because you are going crazy. You are going crazy but that’s not why this is all so confusing. It’s also confusing. Stop trying to figure out what the true narrative is. All narratives are exploding and imploding. A New Sun is being born and it’s here at the core of our experience. And it’s here with the voice of the sound-that-makes that the heralding of the new light is carried.

The Stars Firing Synaptic Dreams of God

Every atom in your body was forged in the bowels of a star, and everything you can perceive in this universe was also formed in a star. If this universe is an illusion, then the stars are the synaptic firings creating the building blocks of the dream of God.

Now, consider the situation before the first stars erupted with light in the night sky. The universe had never seen light, and yet all the matter that was possible was already there. In fact, most of the matter that had been created before the first stars came out was already gone.

What we’re experiencing right now is not the bounty of creation. We are on the last leg of creation. Most of the material content of the universe was already gone by the time the first stars were created. And when the first stars were created there were no planets, no life. There was just that initial light filling up the universe, and those giant stars remaining after the initial splendor.

These stars lived their lives for billions of years and one of two things would happen. Either they would contract enough until they became black holes or they would explode becoming super novas.

The ones that became super novas would give themselves to the universe, sending off everything that had been forged in their bowels and all this matter then would come to join other star systems, reaching the type of matter in these other stars. This new matter would then again form new stars and create the second generation of stars.

The new stars would again either become black holes or supernovas and then they would give rise to more complex molecules and form new stars and new types of planets until we come to this sun that we have.

Our sun is part of the fourth generation of suns. All so that we may have a very rich variety of molecular structures in order to have the complexity of planetary existence that we experience here and now.

It is with this type of planetary existence that we can form different bodies; bodies capable of sustaining life; bodies capable of carrying the type of consciousness that sentient beings have. So, we have gone through all this trouble just to form this kind of body that can carry the sentience of the universe.