I Am Not Here

If you destroy my body right now, it would be an inconvenience, but that’s it. I am not here. My consciousness, my sense of self, is somewhere outside this Tonal. I project myself from someplace else, and I move my hands and speak and allow something to come forth from a remote distance. This body receives impressions and I sense them; and sometimes, when the connection is turned off, what remains is a human body with a personality, with the same concerns and fears as anyone else’s; with a little more information, training, and abilities that I wouldn’t have otherwise; but nothing beyond this realm.

Just like with a video game, the player is outside the game and moving that character about. I am not in the service of the person you see. This body of mine is being created, maintained, and directed in the service of something else, something that to this realm is like the player is to the computer. And I can be here or I can move away. I am the screen upon which the story of the works is projected.

Koyote was a name given at some point, and then it became active, and it began to eat my heart and penetrate every nervous fiber on my body, like a root canal. It was that painful, an it burrowed into every nerve and gland until it ate the body all up. Now, my essence looks like my vehicle.

MARCH 2019 ROSICRUCIAN MASS SERMON: CYCLES OF TIME

From this loop so well described by Paul Rovelli, emerges an understanding of ourselves, or an inner agreement about who we are. This agreement is incorporated into the loop and colors not only the present, but also the way in which we navigate the possible future outcomes. In fact, as Heidegger pointed out, this architecture of consciousness also fine tunes the past. Our understanding of ourselves determines how we interpret and select the past as a story that happened to us. In other words, we are the authors of our personal story, and as we see our path through this lifetime, we put together a thread and weave it as a narrative. The narrator, which is our Self, takes a stance, a point of view. This point of view is determined by this architectonic time loop here described: the memories of the past inserted into the present projects a set of future potentialities out of which emerges a telos (a destiny to which we navigate). Our destiny is the possibility we are creating with our consciousness. A magician, and a shaman, has to approach the construction of this time machine consciously. It is an artifact of our sentience that can be artfully calibrated to give birth to a being who determines its self, a Nahual.

The Tonal is the Screen We Place To Withstand the Visage of God

At the moment, you are staring eye to eye into the face of God, and your body is configured in the same way that the Absolute is configured, in a one-to-one relation to it; and the elements that compose your physical body, your emotional body, and your energy body are made up of the substances that were forged in the stars, active and going from the beginning of this universe.

You have all that already. How to access that and how to make that into something that’s useful to you, is a teaching that should not be a secret. The vision of the objective reality is kept away from you, primarily, by this illusion that you have programmed into your system—the illusion that we call the ordinary. We create this program of the ordinary, and we do this in order to be able to go on autopilot. It allows us to operate in this realm asleep, lazy, laid back and relaxed. If you eliminate that program, you find yourself in a jungle of light and information overload, where you don’t know who you are or what’s going on around you.

I have no idea who I am. Even when I talk about my personal history, that’s just something I plugged myself into; it’s not me. It happens to have a connection to the Toltecs, and for some reason, that seemed to be exotic or sexy for some, or maybe it’s meaningless to you. It doesn’t matter to me. I just happen to be plugged into this lifetime. This body that was born will one day die, and between birth and death it seems to be doing things and have a life. When I put all my lifetime together, I see a four-dimensional worm with a point of origin, an extension through time, and an end. It is just something I have plugged myself into right now. The program that allows you to function without having to feel lost in this jungle of light and information is the Tonal. It allows you to relax, to say, “Hello, I am so and so.” This world is created because of a feature of your body that we call the assemblage point.

CLICK HERE TO READ MORE IN TEACHINGS OF A TOLTEC SURVIVOR

The Great Magician and The Black Sheep

We tell a story of a sheepherder who happened to be a magician, and a very lazy one. He didn’t want to bother to build a fence to keep the sheep inside. The sheep were always escaping and exposing themselves to danger. The magician decided to employ his abilities to keep the sheep inside, hypnotizing them. He made them believe that they were free and safe inside the fence. In fact, he made them believe that whenever he fleeced them, that it was for their benefit. Once in a while, one would disappear, and the sheep were conditioned to believe that she had gone to a better place. In fact, he not only convinced them that he was acting for their benefit, but that they were not sheep at all, that they were human beings. Some thought that they were doctors, lawyers, priests, business people, seekers on a spiritual quest—all approved by the great magician, of course. They thought they were attaining powers and learning secrets. Of course, if they did not know that they were sheep, they would never try to change their situation for real; they would never try to escape; never attempt to evolve. Some even thought that they were magicians and knew the secrets; and all of them had the same fate.

Now, there were a few sheep whose fleece was not as valuable because they were black. Black wool was not as useful as white in the marketplace, so the magician did not pay as much attention to the black sheep, only the white. So, some of the black sheep woke up because the magician wasn’t making sure they remained hypnotized. They realized what they were and what they were doing there. If one black sheep knew the truth and tried to tell the others, the hundreds of white sheep would not listen. Why would they? After all, they were having good lives. They had their problems in their fake realities, but they were fine. Some black sheep managed to escape, and many of those succumbed to predators, but they were free.

Eventually, you had some spotted sheep. With those you could never tell: sometimes they would learn their nature and sometimes not. Of those who knew, some would decide to stay with the white sheep and become completely white.

Most of us are spotted. Part of us wants to be free; part of us wants to be taken care of by the Great Magician. That’s why I say, be careful with your gifts. Some of those are fake, given by the Great Magician. Someone said to me, upon hearing this story, “Be careful with your words because they can get you in trouble.”

I make my words so they get me in trouble. I am at war with the Great Magician. I am the black sheep. I am black, all black. My wool is not for the marketplace. My wool is the obsidian black of the eternal night sky, and its shine is the silence of the endless.

Read more in Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

The Key of Shamans for Voyaging In the Higher Planes

The trick to having access to other planes of existence is to realize that we exist in different places simultaneously.

When you are playing a video game, your consciousness is both in the room where your physical body is and in the avatar that is moving and experiencing the game environment at the same time. When you immerse yourself in the story line, your consciousness identifies with the actions and experiences of the avatar and you feel like what is happening to it is also happening to you. You might even forget your physical surroundings at moments. You suffer, fear, and enjoy as the avatar does. When you have to adjust your back, have some food, or answer a question in the room where your physical body exists, you pull your consciousness and your identity away from the gaming avatar and into your physical form.

The same principle is active whenever you dream.

When you dream, you create a dream avatar. This dream avatar is designed to move in and experience the environment created in the dreaming. You create a dreaming self through which you experience the dream. Are you not also in your physical body? Of course you are. You are in both your physical body and in your dream body simultaneously.

How much you perceive the dream as “real” depends on the level of abstraction and identification you attain in that dream. As your consciousness abstracts from the stimuli of the physical senses, your attention naturally fixates itself on the stimuli coming from the dreaming. Similarly, when you wake up and the attention moves from the dreaming to the physical world around you, the dreaming fades to the background and places itself on the signals coming through the physical senses.

We must understand, however, that we are always dreaming.

When we are awake and our attention is centered in the physical world around us, the subconscious continues to dream. There are inner dialogues going on inside us, images of past events, judgements about what is going on right now, questions popping up, and even full on dreams unfolding in the subconscious. Yes, the dream world does not stop just because we woke up. The dream continues, we just withdraw our attention from it and place it fully on the waking.

If during our waking life we happen to withdraw our attention from the stimuli of the physical senses, we experience day dreams, and at times even full on dreams, even if we are not sleeping. When we fall asleep, we withdraw our attention from the physical senses almost completely and therefore we enter fully into the action of the dream world.

The same thing can be said when we are dreaming. It is not that the waking world is not there. The physical world is still there, we just have withdrawn our attention from it. Notice that even though we close our eyes when we sleep, our five senses continue to operate. The skin registers temperature and movement just like when it is awake. The ear drums continue to receive sound vibrations. The nose continues to receive and register smells. In fact, even the eyes continue to receive light through closed eyelids. Yet, even though the senses still operate, we do not seem to be aware of the stimuli. This is because we do not really stop receiving it, but simply withdraw our attention from it.

This, then, is the key to learn to consciously go from the waking to the dreaming, and indeed to any other plane of existence where we have formed a body:

You must learn to withdraw your attention from one plane and place it on another at will.

Read more in my book, Dreaming’s Gate. This is available for preorder on Kindle.

You can order the paperback version of this book here: koyotetheblind.com

Nothing is permanent

Nothing is permanent.
Not even death.
Life runs out.
Death runs out.

Ignorance runs out
when I realize the eternal truth of the eternal empty void;
and the experience of enlightenment and the dissolution of illusion also end
with the forgetting of the illusion.

Samadhi ends with the stirring of experience.
Unending chain: a cosmic breath between creation and dissolution.
The long night of Brahma.
The eternal dance of the empty void
and her beloved, the stirring of the experience.

Neti, Neti.

I come then to realize that I am not this.
I am not this room.
I am not this body.
I am not these sensations.
I am not this emotion.
I am not that voice.
I am not this listener.
I am not this language.
I am not this consciousness.
I am not this person.
I am not this being.
I am not this dream.
I am not this reality.
I am not this eternity.
I am not this heat.
I am not this fire burning away the flesh.
I am not this uncertainty.
I am not this boredom.
I am not this confusion.
I am not this fear.
I am not these words.

The Old One of Years

From moment you were born, you had an intelligence with you. One that was millions of years old. The one that knows how to live and grow and learn. The one that learns how to navigate an ever-changing, shifting environment. The one who knows how to walk around the jungle. The one that knows how to die and decompose and feel life. This intelligence knows how to heal and destroy. That intelligence was already there from the moment that you were a one-celled entity in an ocean filled with Life on whose surface shines the clear light of objective reality.

Empty shells

Is it that these empty shells that sit and stare and make noises of laughter and breathing—could it be that they think I’m talking to them?
Don’t they know that I see no one?
That I hear no thing?
Don’t they know I am blind?
Don’t they know?

I can only talk to you when I am not here.
And all I can say is what I hear;
spilling out words here and there with no sequence and no cadence;
no metric and no rhyme.

Don’t they know this would be much more clear if they were not here not listening, and I was not here not saying?

And only the emptiness behind the emptiness
would create layers and layers of pauses of silences,
until between the not me and the not you,
it would create this space
and play a game of unending eternities.

A game of heat and cold, of sweat, of fire.

What can I say if it’s all endless?
What can I see if it’s all horizon?
What can I know if it’s all darkness of an endless night?
What can I do?
How can I move if it’s all forgot and gone and lost?

Like the pains of man.
Like the suffering of existence.
Like the hope in the eyes of a dead child.

 

––Excerpt from “The Telling: The Shining Void” by Koyote the Blind 12/29/2012