What is this time I live? Whispers on my ear from the beloved. Warm breath sending waves of time through my skin. Such is this place, unconcerned with durations and ends, where I listen to the stories that pass through me in the embrace of life.
Suffering is nothing but the shadow cast by the light of the Sun upon the Earth. The Sun within itself, in its unity, does not cast a shadow. The shadow of suffering is only the natural result of the interference.
The Absolute is, when in its true center, not subject to division and therefore not subject to suffering. The suffering of the Absolute is only a result of the division caused by the descent through the Abyss. Duality and division are caused in that descent of the Absolute into each and every one of us (who host or carry that consciousness, that light of the Star which is truly our deepest nature).
To immerse oneself in the little suffering of one’s own shadow, and to declare such little suffering to be the true nature of existence is to close your eyes to the light of your true nature.
If you do that, you simply perpetuate the misery of your own lie, as if your shadow is real (negating even the necessary truth of the light that must shine for a shadow to emerge).
What is this terrible anxiety that makes people angry when others think differently? Where does this insecurity come from that makes people bully, belittle, and attack all differing thought? Why feel threatened or insulted if others don’t see things your way?
Use thought as a tool, no more and no less. Use it to test reality, to question, to analyze, and to play poetic games.
Do not trust thought to reflect truth. Do not hang on to a belief as if it were your true self.
To expect others to think like me is like wanting everyone else to dress like me. I am not my thoughts, they are but mere tools for the mind.
These were the times of heresy and discovery.
These were the days Ivan (first from the right) introduced me to a Rosicrucian Order, and challenged my faith and dogma.
These were the days our maid took me to gnostic masses and challenged me to see my privilege.
These were the days of attempting to extract nutrient from flowers to feed the hungry, of seeing specters appear and glide, of exploring abandoned scientific instruments in a University closed by the army.
These were the days before the girlfriends and the bullets, before the depression and suicidal thoughts. These were the days before the hanging by my ankles over a four story building to make me panic. These were the days before the finding of my true strength.
These were my Zacamil days, when that funny looking boy, second from the right, saw the world open up and the storm of time showed him infinity and the eternal power of not being.
Was I ever truly him? How did he know to survive by becoming me?
Fear is our first obstacle. It comes from believing that the ego is real, and the supreme consciousness unreal.
Ego is afraid because it does not know truth.
It is okay to be afraid, the important thing is not to mind the fear. Do not act based on fear. Do not listen to the whispers of fear and do not follow its commands. See the fear, as you see everything else.
Fear is in the mind, and behind the fear is ignorance. See the fear. Observe it. It will also unfold and vanish like the shadows of night when the sun rises.
What is this, penetrating me over and over again?
What is it that pulls me out of myself, over and over again? What is impregnating, causing me to give birth to words and stories and thoughts? What presence is sending these words out to see if any survive, to hear some of them coming back to die in the vastness of my mind?
Thousands of children created, all living inside myself; a few of them daring to come out in words, in teachings, in thoughts and stories. What is their life like out there? I don’t know. All I know is the swelling in me that sends them out; and they go out there not knowing why I sent them. I can’t tell them that. They cannot know why. That is for me to know. That yearning is mine, and I send them out, each one with its own orbit, to live and die, to one day come back.
More and more are created in me, from the pulling of that Goddess-priestess––her silver touch pulling all the way down to my womb. And that sun God! Harsh, brilliant and penetrating, hitting my flesh, burning.
This womb of my heart is ready to swell, to live, to yearn, perhaps one day to surrender into that vast thing I call the ocean, when I can no longer see it because it’s too big, when I can no longer hear it because it’s drowning me, when I can no longer remember myself stepping into the waters.
Picture yourself in the middle of a sentient universe, a conscious being who reaches within because there is nothing outside. It reaches within. It folds upon itself, exploring different levels of sentience until energy is manifested and matter is formed. I want you to picture that as a process of folding upon itself and unfolding out into experience.
This sentience is going within to know itself. It is perceiving itself on different levels, as pure intelligence, then as sound, and then as light. After becoming light, this supreme being experiences itself as cosmos, as galaxies, and finally as planetary existence.
It is not that it is creating sound and then it creates light, and then it creates stars, and then it creates planets, and then it creates things. It’s more that every layer is itself and it has a continuous unfolding of consciousness—knowing itself at different levels.
To give an example of how this is a continuum you may consider the nature of matter itself. Everything that we call matter is composed of atomic particles, and each atom is composed of subatomic particles, electrons, protons, neutrons, etc. Each one of these particles is a packet of energy, a vibration that exists for a time. The relationship between these particles is what creates what we know as the material world.
From the moment when there is light in the Universe, this same light has been coming together as vibration creating stars, creating galaxies, creating planets, creating moons, people, plants, animals, rocks and everything. There is no substantial difference between matter and energy. It is all a continuum. Matter is slowed down energy. The only distinction between matter and energy is in our conception of it, how we relate to it, how we think of it, but it is all part of the same continuum.
In that same way, there is no real difference between the mind of God and the physical universe. It is all a continuum of sentience.
For some reason I keep getting this question online: “The Earth, is it a globe or flat?”
I have decided to compile a list of answers from some of the most renowned religious, spiritual, philosophical, and artistic minds I have encountered in my explorations…
Most people after the industrial revolution: a globe.
The Holy Inquisition: Flat.
Modern Science: a misshapen sphere, like a deflated globe.
Salvador Dali: a field of the misshapen faces of time.
Hinduism: an illusion.
Enochian Angels: A cube.
Homer: a neutral valley below Olympus and above Hades created to be the playground of the gods.
Einstein: a gravitational well in a space/time continuum.
Mayans: a space/time spiral.
Ramakrishna: the unfolding of perception of the real you, who is God.
Hippies: a global village to live in peace and make love.
Globalists: a global village to exploit and consume.
Nazis: a hollow concave globe sustaining humans upside down on its inner surface.
Gurdjieff: the Mi lower harmonic of the initial tone of the world of the Absolute.
Toltec: Flat, but it’s not the Earth that is flat. Earth is a globe projected on a flat screen of light in infinite extension that make up the boundaries of our consciousness, which in turn is shaped as an egg.
All these answers have some truth to them, some more than others, and all in accordance to the paradigm used to tell their stories. All, that is, except for the inquisition and the nazis. They were useless and false, then and now.
Every atom in your body was forged in the bowels of a star, and everything you can perceive in this universe was also formed in a star. If this universe is an illusion, then the stars are the synaptic firings creating the building blocks of the dream of God.
Now, consider the situation before the first stars erupted with light in the night sky. The universe had never seen light, and yet all the matter that was possible was already there. In fact, most of the matter that had been created before the first stars came out was already gone.
What we’re experiencing right now is not the bounty of creation. We are on the last leg of creation. Most of the material content of the universe was already gone by the time the first stars were created. And when the first stars were created there were no planets, no life. There was just that initial light filling up the universe, and those giant stars remaining after the initial splendor.
These stars lived their lives for billions of years and one of two things would happen. Either they would contract enough until they became black holes or they would explode becoming super novas.
The ones that became super novas would give themselves to the universe, sending off everything that had been forged in their bowels and all this matter then would come to join other star systems, reaching the type of matter in these other stars. This new matter would then again form new stars and create the second generation of stars.
The new stars would again either become black holes or supernovas and then they would give rise to more complex molecules and form new stars and new types of planets until we come to this sun that we have.
Our sun is part of the fourth generation of suns. All so that we may have a very rich variety of molecular structures in order to have the complexity of planetary existence that we experience here and now.
It is with this type of planetary existence that we can form different bodies; bodies capable of sustaining life; bodies capable of carrying the type of consciousness that sentient beings have. So, we have gone through all this trouble just to form this kind of body that can carry the sentience of the universe.
I have read Martivón Galindo’s Sharing My Inner Space, and I realize now that with every painting and every poem she has been marking a special space in the journey that so many of us undertook back in the 80’s, when the Salvadoran diaspora uprooted us from the place where we wanted to live, love, die, and create. We left because we had to, away from decades of war and oppression, and everywhere we went we kept looking hard inside the most recondite corners of the heart for that something we brought with us, to make a life and create art, and to find ourselves even in places that forever made us feel strangers.
In this book, Martivón gifts us with a tremendous experience through the use of poetry, print, and painting. It is a powerful storm that penetrates your consciousness under the command of an accomplished artist who has dived into the depths of her soul, and confronting the turbulent history of war, exile, emerges in ultimate triumph a master of her perceptions. She takes us through her encounter with exile, an event that shaped an entire generation of Salvadorans, but she does more than make us look at the world, she takes us with her as the seed of her soul emerges from that encounter triumphant, and continues to create and define her artistic world.
Martivón is not content with showing us her skill and creativity. She shares with us that most intimate process of her genius: the process she has gone through as she discovers her true self. We witness this discovery when she manages to put in word and image the creative powers of a soul that is always seeking justice and always burning bright with the wild fire of truth.
Porque lo invisible es el misterio
encerrado en la lágrima de una estrella
Ayer como hace treinta años
busco lo que no está
para encontrar mi luz
mi propia sombra
en el invisible gran universo de lo posible––Martivon (pg. 160)
Every great artist has an inner process through which her silent, intimate center faces the vast expanse of the unknown, and every one of them produce art that touches in us that most intimate abode. Their art awakens somehow our own truth. Martivón’s art does that for us, of course, but she takes a step further. Sharing My Inner Space is a living document showing that invisible inner process through which her genius emerges.
Witnessing this book is a most enjoyable experience. I promise you, the core of your perception will be touched by it, and you will find yourself on a journey through your own inner space. I recommend this book unreservedly.