The one who speaks and the one listens, that is the “I” and the “you” implied in a sentence, are theoretical entities. That is, they may be actual beings as, for example, the person who wrote this and the person who is reading it, but the sentence itself exists even when no one is reading it and when no one is saying it any more.
This writing stays there somewhere without any real being saying it and no one reading it. It reads as if there is an author and an audience, even if no one witnesses it, but the author and the audience become actual only when someone reads it. It is the reader, then, that gives life to the writing, making the author and the reader actual, real.
And even then, the one who writes when this paragraph is being read is not the person who wrote it, but the theoretical entity implied in the mind of the person who reads it. I, the writer, am only an entity implied by these words you read. I am a figment of your imagination, only part of you created by you through the mechanism of this language, by the magick of these words you read. “I” am only implied by these words.
Your mind creates me in your mind, yet I could not exist in your mind as the author of these words without the existence of these words, these words that never really existed until someone read them, these words that were not real until now, when you are.
One day this bubble of existence will burst into a million pieces, sending fire and light, and spread it all through creation.
Or maybe it will dissolve into the liquid nothingness of the solar waters that flow from that sunset that’s been waiting to come for all eternity.
It will then be so that every experience I ever had, every word I ever said, every pain I ever caused, and every hope I ever gave will turn to be just the vibrant resonance, just the booming ocean, just the happy dance, and dissolve in that ocean of experience and move amongst your shadows as meaningless signs and sights.
May I never live through that!
May the memory of me fade away in time.
May my soul not be important.
May my life not be object of remembrance below or above.
May I not be significant.
May my shadows be forgot and go their way, where the shadows go and the light of Her eyes shine brightly.
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We are constantly negotiating with one another the limits of reality and you’re constantly negotiating who you are. But, that’s not the real you. That is only the avatar that you are picking up for interacting in this simulation, in this game.
You’re really not this particular instantiation of the self. The human mind exists way beyond the limit of your awareness, and even beyond the limits of your lifetime. It is shared with all humanity. You are truly the manifestation of human history.
Like every living creature, the egregore of humanity is growing, it is learning, it is adapting. It is making decisions at a collective level.
The human mind is a vast depository of knowledge, theories, strategies and historical data. Anything that any human being has done, experienced, thought and created is recorded in this mind. There is no action that you can ever take, no thought that you can have that is not part of the collective mind. We can keep secrets from one another because the knowledge of each person is limited to their personal history and their erroneous conceptions about reality, but the mind is aware of all this. It’s seen through each and every human being.
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When we engage with a philosophical inquiry, What is that which wants to know? Is it not the mind? Who asks the question? Who is asking this question? Is there an expectation for an answer when this question is asked? What would satisfy this question?
The mind who is thinking creates the I who thinks. I think.
This I who says “I think” wants to be a real entity. A real thing. But the I who says “I think”, “I want to know”, “I wonder”, “I want”, is the result of thought. “I am Mexican”, “I am Peruvian”, “I am Argentinian”, “I am American”, “I am White”, “I am Black”, “I am male, female”. This I who speaks, this I who asks questions, the I who wants to know, is that I not the result of thought? Is that I not the one that keeps talking and asking?
The mind is aware of itself. And the mind continues to negotiate its existence. It wants validation from others. It wants confirmation of its own existence. It creates anything to feel that it exists. It creates depression. It creates confusion. It creates anger. Just to prove that it exists. But it is the product of thought. And this mind which creates thought, which creates ego, wants to argue. It wants to prove itself. It wants to be heard. It wants to be validated. It wants to ask questions. It wants to understand the answers. But is this ego, this I, not the result of thought? Does it exist beyond thought? Does it exist without thoughts?
Enlightenment is your natural state. The world of human concerns is a veil covering the naked presence of reality. The ego is product of that veil, and it is built with thoughts, beliefs, and concerns centered around that ego.
When the eternal self identifies with that ego, we fall into the slumber of the dream state.
In order to evolve from that slumber, you have to create some restrictions—self-imposed restrictions. They can’t come from someone else. Listen to this: they can’t come from someone else!
If you do it just to obey someone else, it’s only a distraction. You are merely placing the power of your own will on someone else. I don’t care if that someone else is a teacher, a guru, a great illuminated master, an ancient spirit, a voice in your head, or God himself. If you accept restrictions because someone else wants you to have them, they are useless to you.
Of course, you can decide to follow someone else’s advice, but that’s all you can really do. You decide on a course of action because it seems like a good idea to you, and if so, own your decision. In all ways, follow your own counsel, and be responsible for all your choices.
You are the architect of your own being. You choose what is it that you will not do, and what you will do. Once you choose, develop discipline by submitting your actions to your will.
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If you had never heard of bibles and masses and gurus, you’d be enlightened; and, in fact, you are. You are in the presence of the Void and you are, even as you read this, face to face with the non-phenomenal world.
You are staring at truth, and then you are also diving into the dream so that you can forget it, and you are doing that this instant. You have this encounter with power. Enlightment, is nothing but becoming aware of the nature of your true self as you face the stark immensity before you.
The doing of our awareness is the covering of reality with a self made dream. To remove the fog is to stop doing. It is a not doing that’ll allow the vision to clear up.
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If I were to think that the Popol Vuh is only for the K’iche’, that the Old Testament is only for the Hebrew, that the Mass is only for the European Christian, that the incense and Om is only for the Hindu, and that the silent brick wall of sand is only for the Japanese, then I would be limiting them all—as I would limit myself.
And if they cannot be mine, then they cannot be true, for I am not limited to a culture, a country, a race.
This being inside whom you are living has accumulated desires, experiences, maps, notions, ideas, and behaviors. You wear this being like a space suit that carries you through organic life. If you identify with it, it would carry you with it. If it chooses to allow you in, then you can direct it. It can surrender those accidental whims and desires, surrender all of that to your influence. Then it benefits from you and you can exercise your Will. You become able to do.
It becomes able to be. You, as an essence already know how to be. You cannot cease to be. Not without help, anyway. You know how to be; you can’t avoid it.
At the death of this being, you continue to be. But you cannot do. In order to do you must have a body.
You are inside this animal who is afraid of you, who is afraid of itself, afraid of being eaten, afraid of being an animal, but that’s what it is.
Don’t domesticate it; make a pact with it. Give your Higher Will to it. Allow it to do for you, with you. Your only chance of working in this realm, in this sphere, is through a body like this one whose life you are living right now.
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This lifetime you have been experiencing has been a simulation. You can take your body, feelings, emotions, and personal history, as a hologram that still needs to be created and transformed.
How do you come to see this?
By seeing yourself, every moment, as an eternal being projected into a shifting and every changing dream. Train your perception by constantly seeing your experience as a dream.
Where is this dream coming from? It comes from where every dream comes. It is a projection from the same source where your sense of self is created. See the world around you? That is a dream. At the center of this dream, find your own center of attention, always engaged with the dream. That which carries this attention, you call your self.
You are a vehicle for your attention. Your vehicle is also part of the dream.
Your life and the self that is experiencing your lifetime are projections from a hidden, vast, and unknowable source. It dreams all dreams, and dreams itself over and over as the self of every sentient being.
How can you trigger the transformation of the hologram? How do you make this dream evolve into a transformational experience?
Go beyond seeing your experience as a dream, and see all sentient beings as the avatars of the same infinite unknown behind your own sentience.
Be a friend of He who is behind all sentient beings and who is inside each instant.
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If you destroy my body right now, it would be an inconvenience, but that’s it. I am not here. My consciousness, my sense of self, is somewhere outside this Tonal. I project myself from someplace else, and I move my hands and speak and allow something to come forth from a remote distance. This body receives impressions and I sense them; and sometimes, when the connection is turned off, what remains is a human body with a personality, with the same concerns and fears as anyone else’s; with a little more information, training, and abilities that I wouldn’t have otherwise; but nothing beyond this realm.
Just like with a video game, the player is outside the game and moving that character about. I am not in the service of the person you see. This body of mine is being created, maintained, and directed in the service of something else, something that to this realm is like the player is to the computer. And I can be here or I can move away. I am the screen upon which the story of the works is projected.
Koyote was a name given at some point, and then it became active, and it began to eat my heart and penetrate every nervous fiber on my body, like a root canal. It was that painful, an it burrowed into every nerve and gland until it ate the body all up. Now, my essence looks like my vehicle.