Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance. It is a day to remember those who were murdered for having the courage to be who they are.
Here is a token to all transgender people, my people, a haiku in memoriam of your beautiful lives where you have had the bravery to find yourselves and to seek to reflect the inner in the outer.
You join a long list of people killed for being themselves. Every cultural, political, gender, religious, sexual, racial, condition, and national label that has caused you to be discriminated, assaulted, or killed is one of the deepest shames of humanity.
To have the courage to continue to pave the way for a humanity that is just and enlightened is now our burden.
I am that I AM.
Beyond all labels and names,
I see me in you.
Koyote the Blind
Every thought comes and goes.
Every second of time comes and goes.
Every aspiration comes and goes.
Every lifetime I’ve had, it comes and goes.
Every second of time, it comes and goes.
Every flicker of time, it comes and goes.
The watcher watches; and when I move,
the watcher watches.
When I dance, the watcher watches.
When I love, the watcher watches.
When I kill and consume the flesh of my enemy,
the watcher watches.
When I sin of hatred, the watcher watches.
When I sin for love, the watcher watches.
When I pray to God, the watcher watches.
When I blaspheme against God, the watcher watches.
The watcher watches all the time;
and it does not change;
it does not move.
The watcher watches;
and the watcher inside me is what the five watchers
perched on the Tree of Life,
and through the darkness within them,
watch the watcher within.
(The Watchers, from Koyote’s Angelic Host series)
Our destiny is often not what our egos and personalities have come to want. The words of others telling us what to become are often false guides. Only the nature of your true self provides the reason for your incarnation and the direction of your spirit. The key is to simply find yourself, and connect to that silent center as you live your life. The thinking mind doesn’t really need to be the one aware of our destiny, because there’s an invisible hand drawing our story. That hand is the truth of yourself, your essence. Trust in it. Listen in silence, and your destiny will be the most sure and immovable part of your experience in this life.
To really destroy the ego would be as useful as destroying the body, intelligence, creativity, language, etc. The ego is a construct we create to navigate and experience this world. Why get rid of it—eve if such a thing could be functionally possible? No, the ego is a magnificent tool. We must learn to use it well. The key, unlike many falsely teach, is not to destroy it, and not even to weaken it.
The key is to make it an efficient, well crafted, strong, and equilibrated tool. To do this, you must not let the ego be the boss of you. It is a part of you and your tool. The ego that ignores the master is unbalanced, afraid, and out of control. Train it well, keep it healthy and strong, and it will be a worthy avatar to your earthly experience.
In my experience, seeing the common in all is crucial. It can only be done by withdrawing one’s attention from the external identity (I.e., race, country, culture, etc) and rooting it in the inner. Self knowledge, this way, leads to the realization that we are all one. But this rooting attention on one’s true nature and away from external identity must become a habit. Only then can we become truly aware of the oneness of all without having to rely on belief or dogma.
Language is the filter through which we engage with reality.
The I who thinks is therefore the measure of all things. Yet, the “I” implied in every sentence as the speaker is only a feature of language.
The linguistic I hides the noumenal I.
I am Not.
This is our land, el continente americano.
I’ll say this unequivocally: In our land, you have the right to speak any language you wish to speak.
To live where your heart is.
To create and contribute.
To move about, learn, explore, and do.
In our land, you are welcome to establish a home,
To raise a family.
To help one another.
To protect and serve all beings.
In our land, you can be of any color.
Of any creed.
Of any culture.
Of any gender.
Of any identity.
Or of none.
I’ll also say this: this is our land not because we own it.
No one can own it.
It is our land because we are related to it and all its beings.
It is our land like our families are ours, like our friendship is ours, like our future is ours.
To All My Relations!
Koyote the Blind
The truth is not outside. Everything outside your Self can only serve as a reflection of your inner nature.
The search for truth outside the Self will lead nowhere. It won’t be found in any dogma, religion, system, belief, or practice. All these can do is show adumbrations of the inner truth.
Like the sun reflects itself on the water, so can the inner self reflect its light on the surface of the mind. The clear, silent mind reflects the light of our solar nature, our true Self.
The real value of the mind is as a tool to examine and realize the futility of its own efforts. When the mind realizes its own futility, it drops the effort and simply reflects the inner light in the silence of its non-doing.
Check out this episode of my Toltec Survivor podcast!
From the point of view of neurology, as soon as the baby begins to acquire motor skills and focus their eyes, their brain begins to trim. There are neural connections that cut themselves off. In that cutting off, we begin to bring our attention into this world; to be able to perceive things as separate and distinguish shapes, heights, duration, space, color. Without that trimming, everything that the organism can perceive would be perceived and nothing will be distinguished. So, there is a trimming that happens there, and part of that trimming of our neural system is what culture does with language.
Then, over that language, many things are programmed: llike belief systems, like agreements of what is good and what is bad, what is acceptable and what is not. And then over that series of values we build identities: democrat, republican, Argentinian, Mexican. From those we define our personal identity: “This is me,” “That’s not my family,” “I am not like that,” “I am like this.” But we don’t realize the layers of soil that we use to build that sense of self.
If I say “I am hungry,” the “I” which is hungry is a product of that language which differentiates between you and me. Isn’t it the case that when I say “I am hungry” that “I” in that context is different from the one that says “I am koyote” and from “I did not hear what you said”? Each I is a different entity, new each time it is uttered. Only the illusion of language supposes this I exists somewhere inside me and is saying and hearing things. The one that listens is also just a product of what is being said; what is being grasped. As the I who utters ceases, the I who listens ceases. Yet something remains. And what remains makes no distinction between the utterance and the listening and the reality, perhaps the difference exists only in the language which was discarded like a snakeskin.