The Roaring of Her Voice

As I sat there listening to the roaring of her voice, knowing that behind me there was a jungle of life, and in front of me an ocean of time,

I could see the immensity in front of me; and behind me, the void. Everything and nothing behind me––just empty space. All that there was, was the ocean before me. All I could hear were her stories, but the stories kept coming one after the other. The images of origins and endings, beginnings and nevermores were here inside me and outside of me, and as the ocean was inside my mind, bursting it open, I couldn’t tell the difference between the ocean in me and the ocean outside.

I had no idea where I was. I had no idea what I was hearing. Voices came and went until every word, and every concept, and every memory lost any proportion and meaning. It was just sounds until no longer could I remember who or what I was, what I was hearing, what was she saying––only that reverberation that was felt through skin and spine, only the wailing until nothing else could be had, until that point of reference which is I was barely there.

Yeah. There I was, just a point of view, barely there. I, perceiving the ocean, hearing the stories. The almost I. The barely I. The uncreated. The eternal. That nothing that was not absent. That point which was ceasing to be. Unmanifested. Uncreated.

Something sat, maybe. I cannot really tell you for I did not see it sitting. There was an immensity, I believe so now. I can’t really say. For compared to what could that be an immensity?

There was a vastness that came and went that would give me moments of reprieve, when I could collect myself and think maybe enough to know myself as the teller of stories, as the thinker of thoughts, as the one who yearns for the kiss of that vastness whence I came.

I could never have enough time to consolidate this long enough before she would take me again, before my point of view would change to being a vast something that had existed from the beginning of time and will continue to exist until the end of time when the last flame in the last star goes off.

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Fear Is our First Obstacle

Fear is our first obstacle. It comes from believing that the ego is real, and the supreme consciousness unreal.

Ego is afraid because it does not know truth.

It is okay to be afraid, the important thing is not to mind the fear. Do not act based on fear. Do not listen to the whispers of fear and do not follow its commands. See the fear, as you see everything else.

Fear is in the mind, and behind the fear is ignorance. See the fear. Observe it. It will also unfold and vanish like the shadows of night when the sun rises.

There’s Only a Continuum of Sentience Between You and the Universe.

Picture yourself in the middle of a sentient universe, a conscious being who reaches within because there is nothing outside. It reaches within. It folds upon itself, exploring different levels of sentience until energy is manifested and matter is formed. I want you to picture that as a process of folding upon itself and unfolding out into experience.

This sentience is going within to know itself. It is perceiving itself on different levels, as pure intelligence, then as sound, and then as light. After becoming light, this supreme being experiences itself as cosmos, as galaxies, and finally as planetary existence.

It is not that it is creating sound and then it creates light, and then it creates stars, and then it creates planets, and then it creates things. It’s more that every layer is itself and it has a continuous unfolding of consciousness—knowing itself at different levels.

To give an example of how this is a continuum you may consider the nature of matter itself. Everything that we call matter is composed of atomic particles, and each atom is composed of subatomic particles, electrons, protons, neutrons, etc. Each one of these particles is a packet of energy, a vibration that exists for a time. The relationship between these particles is what creates what we know as the material world.

From the moment when there is light in the Universe, this same light has been coming together as vibration creating stars, creating galaxies, creating planets, creating moons, people, plants, animals, rocks and everything. There is no substantial difference between matter and energy. It is all a continuum. Matter is slowed down energy. The only distinction between matter and energy is in our conception of it, how we relate to it, how we think of it, but it is all part of the same continuum.

In that same way, there is no real difference between the mind of God and the physical universe. It is all a continuum of sentience.

We Are About to Create a New Star

All of creation, during the life cycle of the universe, is counting on the moment when we can have the human being experiencing life in a planet; because it is here, in the center of the experience of the human being, that the new generation of solar consciousness can be born.

It is not born yet, but it can be born here in the world that we have created. In this human world, we are experiencing something of what the stars experience within their core. We are experiencing that not as the stars experienced it, with the influx of matter that would make them denser and stronger and therefore have us give more light.

It is happening with another type of vibration. It’s not molecular, but informational density. It is with the conglomerate of experiences––the clusters of ideas, thoughts, and information––that make it seem like more and more is happening.

Timelines are being fused together and happening at the same time. A barrier was broken a few years ago and we have entered the moment of singularity in our timelines. The timelines were more strictly separated before.

We are currently experiencing an acceleration of density of experience, like too much is happening too soon. We are experiencing an acceleration of karmic flow, and therefore we feel an overload of information.

This experiential density will result either in a shutting down of awareness and a condensation of the mind, or we will evolve into a system capable of handling more information, more intelligence, and a wider concept of what we are.

In other words, at this point in history we will either condense into a solidification of small groups firmly trapped in their own singularity of experience, or we will increase the ability of the human being to perceive, to witness, and to become.

We are experiencing the state of matter before it forms a star, and we are experiencing this not at the level of physical matter, but at the level of the Tonal, the collective dream we are forming as a species and manifesting in history. Through history, we have crated the possibility of giving birth to a new star, not in outer space, but within the realm of the human mind.

Are They Still There?

Today, there is no volcano in my view.
No people.
No path.
No city.
No hum.

Today it’s just the fog
holding and dissolving billions of worlds.
They have become more clear and solid.
They exist within me, and without.

The word showing an external reality is no longer dead.
It’s the gate keeper who is dead.

Who, then, punishes the archangels?
Or do they exist inside me in caravans?
Do they exist in my grandmother’s room,
collecting dust and gathering consciousness of little children?
Does the manticore fly?
Does the unicorn travel on solar paths?

Is the man in the cross still there,
looking at me with those eyes,
asking me if I know that I am there
nailed to the same cross,
to this creation of my mind,
unable to move and going everywhere at once?

The Weapons of Humanity (pt. 4: The Coin)

The coin is what has been perverted the most, hacked to make our understanding obfuscated and our power unseen. We have been duped with respect to the coin.

The coin of the tarot is the wealth of the world. It is the hidden gem, the hidden secret that awakens the power of the heart. It is the transformed soul, and its radiance the richness of the world.

We have been lied to, however. We have been told that the true coin is this thing that passes for money. Money, paper money, electronic money–it’s a false thing that is used instead of real wealth. The belief that we have put on it makes us believe that the true wealth is there, and that currency is the real coin. That is not the real coin. It’s a fake program. It’s a program that has been introduced into our consciousness through the artifice of civilization.

The whole civilization has been an expansion pack in the evolutionary program we are playing in this virtual reality world called Earth. And the coin was introduced as a form of exchange and of creation. Basically, it has become the code for the ability to upgrade your experience. We can use the currency to put walls around us and to make our house bigger or prettier; to change the quality of the food you eat; to change this table for another one. That’s the magic that is channeled through the coin–and currency is a visible, exchangeable token of the power of the true coin.

Now, the coin is something that is free to everyone. It is inherent in being human. Ah! But this idea is anathema to everyone in modernity. “That won’t work,” they say. “You have to have a limit; and you have to accumulate it and work for it, fight for it, kill for it, destroy populations for it, and to hoard it.”

But what if the true coin is the transformed heart resplandecent with the light of creation? And what if we all have access to it and not just humans but all my relations–that is to say, All Beings Everywhere? All beings everywhere have the supreme consciousness of the universe shining its golden light from within, and all have the right to exist and the right to use the resources of the planet. In fact, we all have the right to exist and use the resources not just in this planet, but anywhere in the cosmos. To see this and know this comes with knowing the coin within, and to hold this true coin is the future of humanity.

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Don’t Let the Driver of your Vehicle Fall Asleep

The main reason your instrument, your carriage, your human biological machine does not get into the waking state is because it is deathly afraid of it. When everything is working properly, the Master expresses his wishes, the driver knows the direction and controls the horses, the horses have the strength to go wherever the Master indicates, and the carriage simply follows. When everything is working in harmony, the Master gets to where he wills to go. If something goes wrong, then he might not get to where he wants to go. If the wheels are not attached correctly, the carriage will go nowhere. If the horses are not well trained, the carriage could go anywhere. If the horses are going crazy, berserk, they will not go anywhere. If the driver is drunk or asleep, it can’t get anywhere either. The nature of our sleep refers a lot to the driver falling asleep. The driver falls asleep and the horses go to where they want to go according to their preferences, their instincts.

Who are the horses, the driver, the cart? The horses represent your desires and your fears; or more properly said, your seductions and your aversions. When the driver is asleep, you are on autopilot and you move in accordance to your instincts. You are driven by the winds of karma. Some of the words I use here, you might be familiar with, but I will be using them in different ways. Here, I’m not using karma to mean “you do something good, you get something good.” That’s the soap-opera version of karma. Think of karma as a wind that moves the leaves of the tree sometimes here, sometimes there. We are like those leaves, and we’re moved by our desires and the circumstances around us.

Rarely do we have a driver that can direct our vehicle wherever we want to go. The driver is our conscious self, the thinking part of us that can plan, strategize, and make thoughtful decisions. A driver that is pulled and repelled by sensual or emotional attractions, is a driver that has given control of the vehicle to the horses. The driver is asleep, or otherwise merely witnessing the car being pulled by the horses of emotional identification. The driver might know where the master wishes to go, but he is incapable of directing the carriage.

The influence of the Master is very subtle. He has no direct influence over the cart. All he can do is talk and send a voice to the driver. But if the driver is drunk and asleep, he won’t listen. If there is a racket going on outside, he might get a distorted notion. All he has is that voice coming from somewhere behind him: “Take me to the park.” But the driver has to interpret, apply the command, and go. You have to listen to the voice while awake. If you are asleep, who knows what you’re listening to.

From The Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

The Elusive I Am

The being who says “I am”, implied in every sentence, the being that observes, that hears, that sees color and light, sits in the shadows between the worlds.

If I look within the source of attention, trying to find the I Am, the I Am retreats even further. When I think I’ve grappled it, when I think I have surrounded the I Am in a web craftily and carefully constructed with meaning and concerns, when I say “Ah! Here I Am!,” the I Am becomes smaller, more remote, more in shadow.

I look for the I Am, realizing that the one who searches is also the I Am, forever retreating yet always at the center of the experience.

This Room Called Reality

I felt as if I had just woken up from a long, long dream in which I had been many, many beings: man, woman, criminal, judge. Where I had been a saint and a sinner. A fish. I had seen myself as daughter and mother. Lover. I was the betraying one and the one who cried in desperation after being betrayed.

I had had many dreams and I had seen myself lost in all those dreams, in all those worlds. I remember myself collecting pieces of me, calling them my companions. Members of a group that searched for an idea, an illusion that we called reality. Futile enterprise. For nothing in that dream could be called reality.

There is only this room. Only this chair. Only me and no other. I am where I have always been and there is no one else. I have always remained in the here and now, even throughout all those changes of form and vision, immersing myself into the hellish vistas of pain and unending suffering with the hope of forgetting the real world, searching for heavenly spheres of life and peace and happiness–eternal happiness–only to be able to forget the stark reality of the here and now. That here I was again, all alone. Nowhere to go in this room called Reality.