The Stars Firing Synaptic Dreams of God

Every atom in your body was forged in the bowels of a star, and everything you can perceive in this universe was also formed in a star. If this universe is an illusion, then the stars are the synaptic firings creating the building blocks of the dream of God.

Now, consider the situation before the first stars erupted with light in the night sky. The universe had never seen light, and yet all the matter that was possible was already there. In fact, most of the matter that had been created before the first stars came out was already gone.

What we’re experiencing right now is not the bounty of creation. We are on the last leg of creation. Most of the material content of the universe was already gone by the time the first stars were created. And when the first stars were created there were no planets, no life. There was just that initial light filling up the universe, and those giant stars remaining after the initial splendor.

These stars lived their lives for billions of years and one of two things would happen. Either they would contract enough until they became black holes or they would explode becoming super novas.

The ones that became super novas would give themselves to the universe, sending off everything that had been forged in their bowels and all this matter then would come to join other star systems, reaching the type of matter in these other stars. This new matter would then again form new stars and create the second generation of stars.

The new stars would again either become black holes or supernovas and then they would give rise to more complex molecules and form new stars and new types of planets until we come to this sun that we have.

Our sun is part of the fourth generation of suns. All so that we may have a very rich variety of molecular structures in order to have the complexity of planetary existence that we experience here and now.

It is with this type of planetary existence that we can form different bodies; bodies capable of sustaining life; bodies capable of carrying the type of consciousness that sentient beings have. So, we have gone through all this trouble just to form this kind of body that can carry the sentience of the universe.

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The Tiger-Sheep and the Nature of the Teachings

A tiger cub found itself alone in the world as soon as he was born. His mother was killed by a hunter at the exact moment she was giving birth. The hunter took his pictures, with his foot on her body, wide smile holding the phallic crutch he calls his gun. He shares the picture and tales of his conquest and fake bravery, seeking somehow to steal the fierce nobility of the tigress by imbuing her blood on his pictures, trophies, and tales.

In the meantime, the little cub was left behind to die. He survived, though, when a young shepherd girl, passing by with her flock, saw the cub, and filled with compassion for the dying child took it with her to raise.

The cub was raised among the sheep, and since sheep was all the shepherd girl new, she treated the cub as a sheep. All the cub saw around him was sheep. All he heard was bleats. He learned to walk, eat, and bleat like a sheep. He thought himself a sheep, and seeing only sheep around, he never suspected he was anything other than sheep. All the sheep, too, learned to see him as one of their own. He behaved like sheep and bleated, so they responded to him as they did to each other.

So the tiger cub grew up, obviously different from his flock in appearance, but internally he saw himself as just one of them.

One day, a wild tiger approached the camp, hunting. He was about to pounce on his target, when he spotted the young tiger running away scared like the rest of the flock. Puzzled, he let his prey aside and pursued the young tiger until he caught up with him. The young tiger bleated, scared for his life.

The old tiger grabbed the tiger-sheep by the back of the neck and dragged him away. The tiger-sheep bleated in panic and pain, scared for his life. The old tiger brought his prey to the side of a river, and forced him to look at his reflection for the first time.

“Look,” he commanded, “you are like me, not like them!”

The young tiger-sheep was in shock at the revelation, but all he could do was bleat. The old tiger forced some meat on the young tiger-sheep. It was an unpleasant and terrifying experience, and he vomited the meat in horror.

In time, however, he learned to like the smell and taste of blood, and the meat was strength and force in his body.

So it’s shown the truth of the teachings, that its strength seeks to be stolen by the hunter and never realized, thwarted and hidden by congregations and good intentions, and revealed only by the clear example of He who is a mirror of the deepest Self.

These Teachings Are Not for the Personality

These teachings are not concerned with the development of your personality. They are not designed to make you more popular or likable. They are not designed to make you richer, to give you better relations.

They are not designed to boost your self esteem, to give you a better memory, to be calmer, happier, or more successful. They are designed to benefit the essence so that the essence can be transformed into a soul. It will be transformed into a soul the way a worm goes into a chrysalis and is transformed into a butterfly.

Most people do not concern themselves with growing a soul because every institution has told them that they already got one. Therefore, they do not make any efforts to grow one. Once they do, they nourish the seed dormant in every body, the seed that descended as pure awareness from the vastness of sentience of the dreamer of the universe.

These teachings, then, are not for the personality. They are meant to show the essence how to allow the personality to break apart, decompose, and absorb it as the seed absorbs the fruit that holds it.

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Read more in chapter 4 of The Teachings of a Toltec Survivor.

Or listen to the chapter here: Toltec Survivor Podcast: The Personality and the Essence of Sheep

The Unmovable Voyager Holding an Ankh

I had a dream when I was a child. I was lost in the desert. I came upon an oasis with a single tree. Two people were there. One was sitting on a rock. Next to the rock was the tree with a man hanging on a branch, with one leg crossed over the knee of the other—like Odin, the Hanged Man of the Tarot.

The man on the rock told me he was Master Jesus. Master Jesus pointed to the hanged man and said, “This is Master Socrates.”

I was there in the oasis in the middle of the Dreamlands, and two Masters, of two different lineages, were before me. Master Jesus said, “Stay here.” I felt happy about this. But then the Hanged Man, Master Socrates, came down and with a fierce and wild look in his eye said, “Go away!” I was torn. Both were Masters giving contradictory commands.

I asked, “Which one should I follow?” With a sly grin, Master Socrates approached me and said, “You must obey both.”

And I did! And I became, at that moment, one with cosmic consciousness—having, for a moment, realized the unity of the fundamental nature of my innermost self, whose essential quality is always to go, to voyage, to move, and to dream—with the fundamental nature of the consciousness of he who sleeps and is never anywhere, never changing, never born, never dead, never existing and never moving. The unity brought an understanding, for a moment, of that which had been hidden to my human consciousness.

Excerpt from The Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

Don’t Fight the Monsters of the Sleeping State—Awake!

Do not worry about the quirks of your personality you think are imperfections. They are just modalities of the human expression, and their value is only a function of the environment. What is considered a good virtue is a vice in a different society, and vice-versa.

When we are in the sleeping state, we have different degrees of so called “negative” qualities. However, none of them are real when the light of the supreme consciousness rises in the awakened being. Don’t waste your time, therefore, in correcting all “imperfections.” This is an unending task. This kind of self improvement is all about chopping off heads of Hydra one by one; two new heads come up for each one you take out.

Work, instead, towards the waking state. When you wake up, all the problems of the dream vanish along with the illusion that your true self exists in the dream only.

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Don’t Let the Driver of your Vehicle Fall Asleep

The main reason your instrument, your carriage, your human biological machine does not get into the waking state is because it is deathly afraid of it. When everything is working properly, the Master expresses his wishes, the driver knows the direction and controls the horses, the horses have the strength to go wherever the Master indicates, and the carriage simply follows. When everything is working in harmony, the Master gets to where he wills to go. If something goes wrong, then he might not get to where he wants to go. If the wheels are not attached correctly, the carriage will go nowhere. If the horses are not well trained, the carriage could go anywhere. If the horses are going crazy, berserk, they will not go anywhere. If the driver is drunk or asleep, it can’t get anywhere either. The nature of our sleep refers a lot to the driver falling asleep. The driver falls asleep and the horses go to where they want to go according to their preferences, their instincts.

Who are the horses, the driver, the cart? The horses represent your desires and your fears; or more properly said, your seductions and your aversions. When the driver is asleep, you are on autopilot and you move in accordance to your instincts. You are driven by the winds of karma. Some of the words I use here, you might be familiar with, but I will be using them in different ways. Here, I’m not using karma to mean “you do something good, you get something good.” That’s the soap-opera version of karma. Think of karma as a wind that moves the leaves of the tree sometimes here, sometimes there. We are like those leaves, and we’re moved by our desires and the circumstances around us.

Rarely do we have a driver that can direct our vehicle wherever we want to go. The driver is our conscious self, the thinking part of us that can plan, strategize, and make thoughtful decisions. A driver that is pulled and repelled by sensual or emotional attractions, is a driver that has given control of the vehicle to the horses. The driver is asleep, or otherwise merely witnessing the car being pulled by the horses of emotional identification. The driver might know where the master wishes to go, but he is incapable of directing the carriage.

The influence of the Master is very subtle. He has no direct influence over the cart. All he can do is talk and send a voice to the driver. But if the driver is drunk and asleep, he won’t listen. If there is a racket going on outside, he might get a distorted notion. All he has is that voice coming from somewhere behind him: “Take me to the park.” But the driver has to interpret, apply the command, and go. You have to listen to the voice while awake. If you are asleep, who knows what you’re listening to.

From The Teachings of a Toltec Survivor

The Golden Flower, pt 3: enlightened analysis by Paul Rovelli

This is a deep and accurate presentation of the import of part 3 of my book, The Golden Flower. Enjoy!

Part Three of The Golden Flower is titled: “And in the Philosopher’s Garden Lives the Scent of the Golden Flower.” The first chapter, ‘The Beast’ jumps right at the reader in the opening; especially the Thelemic reader. The Dreaming is turned from a process of consciousness and given a life as an objective being. It becomes the Holy Guardian Angel in the form of a beast that is the dream and the Augoeides. The Beast being the sun in Thelema, the second chapter, ‘Dream is a Dealing with Light’ follows with the Kyote identifying himself as the dream immersed in the light; he (or each of us) is the perceiver and the perception.

His attitude is as one hunting himself, so that in finding oneself, one realizes oneself as mastering the dream. “The only thing beyond the Dreaming itself is the pure, unblemished nothingness–just the silent sound of the eternal.” So that in the third chapter, “The Other Self”, the opening sentence offers the complementary theme: “When you are born, so that your physical body can have a form, a creature of light and shadow is fused to your body–an energy form with its own thoughts, feelings, likes and dislikes. This dual structure of bodies that posits “the other self” as “the dream self” or in Magick, the Augoeides. Waking in the lucid dream is but the first part of the word. The dremaing self must also wake in the physical body. The abstraction of consciousness is the key to the transformational magick of the White School of Magick and its dualist philosophy.

The fourth chapter lives up to its being the namesake of the book. The Kyote literally gives us the LOGOS and feeds us ‘the word’–showing us how IT is consciousness. IT is the Dreaming and the Lotus upon which Brama forever flaots–the Golden Flower. And the chapter fully delivers this to the reader as a sensibility, as the Kyote’s words seem to reach directly into one’s soul. The Golden Flower is ‘literally’ presented; pun intended. The Yellow Rose is but a tone given to the coloration of the Rosy Cross. It can clearly be seen that this chapter is the sumation of the Magick that perfectly draws from both Thelema and the Toltec.

The atmosphere of the fifth chapter: ‘The Going’ shares with us the afterglow from the peak experience of the previous chapter. We realize here that the Golden Flower; the book itself is a talisman, being the Wanga of a most magnificent Obeah. The Kyote’s words as much remind us of the afterglow of an LSD experience; the psychedelic sensibility being preeminant in this chapter. And the sixth chapter: ‘The Three Keys’ closes out this marvelous tome with the Kyote giving us Hadit, Nuit and Ra-Hoor-Khuit in that order; or you might say point, counterpoint and transcendent point.

Hadit is the god that never sleeps; eternally insatiate, and Nuit becomes the girl in the Universe Atu, with her reflection, as if the Kyote’s marvelously reflective images were pulled from Liber 231. And Ra-Hoor-Khuit is this god who “would that, in his eternal wakefulness, he’s always been srrounded by this eternal, unmoving, untouchable abyss behind him. The Kyote’s words make this chapter one long incantation. All that’s left for the reader is but ‘TO DO.’

By Paul Rovelli, director of The Gnostic Church of L.V.X.

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My Precious Double

Think of a dream you are having. You project yourself into that dream. That projection is a double of you, an avatar that is native to the dream environment. You are creating both the dream and the dream self that inhabit that realm.

If you identify with that double, you act and feel as if that is your only reality.

To be aware of both the dream and the one who is outside the dream allows you to loose your form, and to exist beyond the limits of your dream.

To withdraw your identification from the dream double is to wake up, and to find yourself in the wake world–which itself as a dream to the eternal void beyond all dreaming and experience.

My Sacred Prayer

One day this bubble of existence will burst into a million pieces, sending fire and light, and spread it all through creation.

Or maybe it will dissolve into the liquid nothingness of the solar waters that flow from that sunset that’s been waiting to come for all eternity.

It will then be so that every experience I ever had, every word I ever said, every pain I ever caused, and every hope I ever gave will turn to be just the vibrant resonance, just the booming ocean, just the happy dance, and dissolve in that ocean of experience and move amongst your shadows as meaningless signs and sights.

May I never live through that!
May the memory of me fade away in time.
May my soul not be important.
May my life not be object of remembrance below or above.
May I not be significant.

May my shadows be forgot and go their way, where the shadows go and the light of Her eyes shine brightly.

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The Futures that Were.

The future used to be so much better before it got so mangled in recent pasts.

I’ve been shopping around for a better future. I might have to make one myself. I can probably put something together from a couple of futures I used to have that never got used.

Or perhaps I will just drop them all, stop looking in the past for all the futures I might one day want and the ones I might come to fear, leave the future in all its styles way behind and let it vanish into the distant past like my shadow with the coming of the night.

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