Your Solar Essence

There is no mountain that can take you to the sun. There is no ladder. There is no staircase. There is no tree tall enough to take you to the solar center. And just like the sun that seems to travel across the heavens, unperturbed and untouched by clouds, atmosphere, or anything that can happen in this planet, so the true self moves across the surface of this life, unperturbed by all the going-ons, undisturbed by all the sufferings and all the joys that happen to your body, your mind, and your emotions.

The truth is within. The truth is never to be found in any religion, in any method, in any theory, in any teaching; because the truth is not outside of you. Anything outside of you is part of your experience of planetary existence.

There are methods and teachings that can help you clear the mind. That can help you focus the attention on what is real. They have to be used well. They have to be used to get to the truth. They have to be used to be able to see within yourself. If you use them for anything else, anything that is external, you begin to lose the focus.

Know, however, that you already are that. That everything you experience, you experience because there is that solar consciousness interacting with this body. That you wouldn’t be able to experience anything, were it not for pure-consciousness in you. Forget, then, all the teachings and all the religions, and all the theories, and all the ideas, and all the words of the masters.

Just look within yourself.

There is no tomorrow to do this. There is no time when this can be done except for now. Look now, within yourself. Wonder at the origin behind the center of your consciousness. Look at the center of that which looks; and know that silent emptiness, when interacting with your body, creates all your experiences, and that there is no experience at all that is more important than the truth within yourself.

 

Check out this episode of my Toltec Survivor podcast!

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Meditation

I sit here.

I see shadows.

I sit here.

I hear words.

I hear the humming sound of electricity. If I close my eyes and hear deeper than my heart, I hear the high pitch noise that serves as a memory of that one moment after the fall. It reminds me what is waiting when the dream is over.

Thirsty for the Spiritual Dew

This is the thing: If you’re not thirsty, you won’t find the appeal for water. The satisfaction of drinking water is not inherent to the water. It comes from the experience of eliminating the thirst.

The Great Work makes no sense if your soul is not thirsty for it. The thirst for the waters of the spirit is a necessary condition for the satisfying taste of the dew of infinity.

The relaxed alertness of meditation

Consider the following image: a gazelle walks to a brook. She lowers her head to drink from the clear, placid water. Shimmers of light play on the surface of the water, sending slivers of silver and light all around. The placid water and the playful light are reflected on the serene intelligence of the gazelle’s round eyes. The muscles of the magnificent animal are relaxed, as is indeed her mind, yet her ears stand and move around in attention.

If you could look closely, you’d see that while her muscles are relaxed, they are ready to jump and run any second. There is nothing slumbered about her. Our gazelle is fully alert yet deeply relaxed. Should a predator appear, she’d jump without missing a beat, and without waste of energy. While the place is safe, nothing is wasted in tension or worry.

Such is the state of relaxation you necessary for meditation: deeply relaxed and vividly alert.

 
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Photography: Sharla Sanchez
Model: Crystal Sanchez

What is the Inner Circle of Humanity? Who is in it?

Just like every cell of your body is conscious, yet unaware of you, so is every individual member of the human race conscious but unaware of the Inner Circle.

Yet, every cell of the body is attuned to the signals coming from the brain. The cell is not always aware of this signal, or where it’s coming from, but if it is received, it directs the actions of the cell.

The brain does not micromanage each cell or organ. The brain releases hormones, keeps timing, creates conditions in the body that will prompt the cells to act in a certain way. So does the center of humanity direct it’s evolutionary intelligence, by creating conditions and emanating vibrations of freedom and higher consciousness.

The Inner Circle of humanity is not a cabal of individuals bent on domination and demanding obedience. It is the unified intelligence behind each individual, regardless of race, gender, culture, intelligence, or attainment. It is you, beyond all your identities. It is humanity as an individuated whole, the Adam Kadmon.

Check out this episode of my Toltec Survivor podcast!

 

Awakening is the Ultimate Heresy

This brain of yours is, right now, creating the world. It is, at the same time, forming scientific hypotheses about the universe. It is doing this not only at the social level, but also at the natural and even the spiritual level.

The process of awakening has to do with taking these processes of the brain and bring them to a conscious level. It is about becoming conscious of the assumptions that you are making when you are defining yourself, and the assumptions that you are making when you are face to face with the infinite.

The brain is doing all this in a mater that is unconscious to you. Automatic. Make them conscious, and voluntary.

Your family, your tribe, takes care of giving you the assumptions, the foundations, and principles that let you navigate the world.

Eventually, society takes over and provides you with the stories, the narratives, that allow you to know what group to identify with, what beliefs to hold, how to behave with other people, and how to behave when you are alone.

Then, religion takes over to tell you how to think about god, and how to behave in the face of the infinite

The Great Work is, in a way, a work of heresy where you begin to discard what religion tells you.

You begin to set aside all the identities and assumptions that the social group has given you: all the identifications with a race, a nation, a religion. All identifications with a human group being to be set aside as programs that have invaded your system. A lot of these programs have kept you trapped in a form that is limited, and are not your real self.

Even the way that we perceive nature has to be questioned, analyzed, and reformed in a conscious manner, so that what we are, what the world is, and what the universe is can be approached as a great mystery—as a unique path that will lead us to a lifelong adventure of discovery. To know thyself, as the oracle of Delphi commanded, and as socrates told his students, is not only to know your identity—with all its preferences and histories—but to know that you are not that at all. It is to know the limits you have imposed on yourself. To know that manner in which you were educated by family, culture, country, and religion; and how they have provided limits for yourself, because they has created an avatar that functions on behalf of those religions, countries, and artificial human groups.

This great work is an ultimate act of rebellion where you dare to stand alone, to disrobe yourself of all your programs and all your identities, and to face the empty void only as a silent presence. Then you can look at everything again, from this perspective, and pick and choose your experiences, your hypothesis, your assumptions. Pick them consciously, and they’ll go from being unconscious assumptions to being tools for you to use; as a carpenter uses and chooses a hammer, a saw, a nail.

Ultimately, there is beyond the center of centers, there, at the origin of your attention, beyond the sense of self, the origin of all you are. This is the God that creates the world that you perceive. This is the God that sustains the life of the one that says ”I Am”. This god within has been considered the greatest of heresies of all the religions that have made a world of worship, the have created a culture that sees them, and only them, as the true intermediaries between you and god. Their success, strength and wealth has depended on you believing that you are not god; that you are only a limited ego that is a suffering fool whose only possibility of happiness depends on the graces of an external, remote god, and whose only intermediary is the church.

In this unholy trinity, a tyranny of a remote father and a tyrannical mother, are placed the only source of redemption for a child that never grows. But the truth is that the Holy Father is you, not your ego, not your identity, not even your memories, but you—the one behind the curtains of perception. You are the true God, and this vessel of flesh and mind that contains the history of humanity, that contains all knowledge and experiences, that contains the good and the bad, that contains all the teachings, and all the words of all the masters is the true church.

The marriage between God and the church produces, outside of you, the kingdom of heaven—always new, always created, always reflecting the will of god. In this Kingdom outside, the world created anew, is a true reflection of the inner marriage between the true God and the true church. This union is the true wine of ecstasy that brings the satiation of our deepest aspirations. Those who would keep humanity enslaved will tell you that it is a great heresy to believe in this God within. And I tell you that you have nothing to believe. No belief is necessary. You have to approach this as a true scientist, a true explorer of the inner spaces, and seek for yourself the knowledge of your true essence, of that which is silence and infinite, of that which is true beyond all forms, beyond all time—the center of yourself.

Seek within your heart, not the emotional or physical heart, but the center of yourself. There, you will find it. Silent. Vastly infinitesimal. All knower. Creator. Maintainer. Destroyer of all worlds. Look for the god within. Commit the ultimate heresy, and make contact with your true self.

http://toltecsurvivor.libsyn.com/the-great-work-is-the-ultimate-heresy

 

 

 

 

I Shall Step on the Pathless Land

I Shall Step on the Pathless Land

So it is written and so it shall be.
For what once was, it will be.
On that day I shall step on the pathless land.
On the sands of infinity of that desert that crosses and touches
between the world above and the worlds below.

One day, I walk the pathless land,
leaving no trace,
making no mark,
changing no thing.

One day all of me will dissolve in the darkness of that cave.
One day it all ends.
What’s on the other side?
Is it the City of Pyramids?
Or the annihilation of all?
Of these matters nothing is written;
no destiny ever traced.

 

Celebrating 7 years of the Ox and None Clerk House of the A.’.A.’.

Seven years ago, on October 22, 2010, I established the Ox and None Clerk-House and dedicated it to the service of the sempiternal A.’.A.’. and to the evolution of humanity.

A reader asked, what exactly is a Clerk House?

Traditionally, a clerk house is a store front or public face of a temple, an abbey, or an esoteric school. It is the administrative center of the operations of the school with the outside world. This is the meaning of the term since the middle ages across different spiritual traditions. From this Clerk-House, the spiritual school and abbey would be coordinating and administering both the dealings with the community and the teaching curriculum for the spiritual aspirants training at the school. The external function of this Clerk-House would be to administer both the business dealings with the community that would allow the school to survive and operate, and the actions performed to serve the outside community. So, it would be in this Clerk-House that all the accounting, inventory, paperwork, and student documents would be kept.

Chapter III, verse 41, of Liber Al vel Legis says: “Establish at thy Kaaba a clerk-house: all must be done well and with business way.”

Crowley often thought of the Kaaba in the religious context of Islam. The word “Kaaba” means “cube,” and it is the center stone around which the temple is built. Crowley wanted Thelemites to think of his house by Loch Ness, Boleskine, their religion’s Kaaba. He wanted Boleskine to be to Thelemites as Mecca is to Islam. However, initiates of the A.’.A.’. understand that vertical initiatory work is internal. In this light, the verse above is interpreted in the context of the first main task of the Order: to raise your kundalini and consciousness to the center of your Ruach, your mind, and from there enter into conscious communication with the Star, which is your true Self and whose orbit is your Will.

In this light, we understand the Kaaba to be the cube at the center of your being, or the sacred magical altar around which you will construct the temple of God out of your own self, your life, your consciousness, and your body. This Kaaba is the most intimate and secret center of every person, and there we build a house where we will pray and commune with God, “a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens”—as my Masonic brethren say.

It is, therefore, in the Lover’s grade that we attempt to balance the forces and powers of the Ruach, reconciling all opposites and putting the ego under control, in order to establish a firm connection with our true Self, and from there engage in conscious communication with our Higher Self of Genius. There, under that guidance, we then proceed to next phase of the Great Work which is the manifestation of your pure will in your life.

In this initiatory blue print, to “establish at thy Kaaba a Clerk-House,” means to set up an administrative center, a store front, at the center of your sacred cube. This sets the Clerk-House for the Adept with a dual function, as every thing in the Ruach is subject to this duality: one inner, and one outer. The administrative function of the Clerk-House in the inner sense has to do with the ordering, balancing, and administration of the different parts of the Ruach. For the Adept, this means the reconciliation of all opposites and the mastery of all aspects of the mind, constantly endeavoring to bring all the elements of the lower and higher self to a state of balance and under the direction of the center, the Sun in Tiphareth, the True Self. This is the first part of the work of an Adept. It is secret and internal. This is “putting your house in order”, as Gurdjieff put it. With the house in order, the Master of the House comes. This is when we attempt to contact the Holy Guardian Angel in a conscious manner, and then establish the methods and conditions for such a communication to continue, acquiring a trusting and reliable source of teachings, guidance, and communion with the most sacred. This is why, in the Lover’s degree, and Adept who has made this contact no longer needs an external teacher, since she has already established a connection to the true Teacher, the real Guru who is a messenger of the sempiternal A.’.A.’. above the Abyss. From then on, your guidance is internal, and from there you derive your teachings, your gnosis, and your magick.

The second part of the task of an Adept is to establish this Clerk-House in the outer, in the world. This is done under the guidance of the Holy Guardian Angel. If the first part of the task was about finding the laws of your Star and entering into conscious contact with it, the second part is about manifesting those laws in your sphere of influence, in your world. This is part of the meaning behind “thy kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.” In this phase of the Adept’s work, the task is to manifest the Clerk-House in the world. Each Clerk-House will be different, since each one is a manifestation of the innermost will of the Adept. This part of the task can take many years, or even a life time.

The Ox and None Clerk-House was officially established seven years ago, and continues to orbit around the Star which gives its Light, Life, Love, and Liberty from the inner to the outer. As an outer expression of its Kaaba, the Ox and None Clerk-House administers and operates the training of its students, working as an abbey or esoteric school traditionally represented by a beehive. This image illustrates the manner of work and service taught to every student. We research and teach through different traditions from around the world, and many of our students are inheritors and initiates of different traditions, each one contributing to the understanding, the practices, and the technologies employed in our Clerk-House.

To sustain the efforts of the School, we produce works of art, books, street and stage performances, car washes, seminars and workshops.

To service the community, we bring to the community, free of charge, training in arts and craft, the sacred art of The Telling, healing and the use of the powerful energy known as the Aka Dua, free weekly lectures and teachings, sweat lodges and vision quests, dream circles, healing, cine forums, and readings for the dying.

The Golden Flower was released last year. This is a powerful manual on shamanic voyaging, the yoga of dreaming, and the method of realization by experience.

Last year, we initiated a few students into the Diaphanous Shell technology, which allowed us to raise them into the Level IV of the Aka Dua. Another round of students will be initiated into the level IV early next year, and a few select students of the inner circle are getting ready for level 5. I will post a comprehensive list of level four initiates soon.

In addition, the community at the Ox and None Clerk House manifested the Tezaqui Güitame Kachora Medicine Wheel. This is a major accomplishment aiding the protection of the dharma in this troubling times, and the evolution of humanity. Along with the matrix of energy created by the gift of the Aka Dua to humanity, the medicine wheel is helping with the prayers of everyone who walks it, to alleviate the suffering of all beings everywhere and to increase the reception of the teachings in the world.

Several students have also been releasing methods, techniques, and products of their own, each in accordance to their unique will and training.

Oso (George Ramos) has been conducting, and training others, vision quests and sweat lodges under the altars of David Swallow and mine. He has trained a fine group of fire keepers, four water pourers, and four cannumpa carriers. The community thrives in the Red path because of him, and many future generations will benefit from his teachings.

Sharla Sanchez have produced a technique for building a Dream Altar that serves as a portal to the higher dimensions and the light of objective reality. She has begun a path of service as a spiritual midwife, helping the mother connect to the soul of the baby, assisting on the birth and incarnation process. She conducts Dream Circles that show a direct experience with shamanic dreaming. Stay tuned for upcoming creations and offerings from this promising practitioner. You can contact her and inquire about her work at Thedreamersden93@gmail.com

Phyllis Douglass is releasing powerful mudras and initiatory passes that bring the Aka Dua to an accute awareness of the higher worlds. Her angelic voice and direct communication with the essence allow her to guide students in their unique and wonderful path. Read more about her here: www.phyllisdouglass.com

Dr. Arlan Cage has been carrying forth the teachings of the Aka Dua, and will be releasing new methods for its use very soon. His Aka Dua Healing Institute is training many good practitioners, produced a manual for the use of the Aka Dua in the healing arts, and has advanced the understanding of this modality in comparison with quantum mechanics and oriental medicine. Read more about Dr. Cage here: http://akaduahealing.com/

Crystal Sanchez started conducting the Women’s Sweat Lodge. The Sphaira team under her direction has beautiful and effective dream catchers and other products that enhance the art of dreaming. See more of Crystal’s work here: www.facebook.com/sphaira93

Viento de Octubre is guiding others through the art of tarot reading for the essence, and moving forward the magical art of imbuing artifacts for the use of the shaman and the magician, creating magical rings, pendants, and amulets. To learn more about Viento de Octubre’s work, visit his page: www.vientodeoctubre.com

There are many other students creating arts and crafts, performing, healing, conducting dream circles, and teaching. I will be posting about their efforts as they become available to a larger audience.

The training itself is also free, but the student body is at maximum capacity at this time. The training is very engaging, committed, and exacting. At this point, we cannot accept new applicants, but everyone is welcome to participate in our weekly lectures, cine forums, and all the other community events we offer. If you live far from Riverside, our lectures and cine forums are broadcasted live on YouTube, in the Koyote Barks channel.

Also, you can participate by subscribing to this blog, Writings of a Toltec Survivor, for daily analysis, musings, poems, and teachings.

You should also subscribe to the Telling podcast. I am releasing there all my previous Tellings, all of which have been performed live.

The Toltec Survivor Podcast brings you a weekly teaching directly to your essential being, unmeditated and impacting. Don’t forget to subscribe to that one as well, and rate it!

Finally, we are all looking forward to new books on magick, shamanism, and the spiritual teachings of the Toltecs. Keep up to date on my author’s page in Amazon: books by Koyote the Blind.

This is a very dynamic community of practitioners and students. It won’t be long until other students will open their own clerk houses and thus open the doors of the teaching to a wider circle, each one attracting very different people because everyone is learning to connect with their own Star and evolve their own life into a unique source of service to humanity.

Much has been accomplished in these first seven years of the Ox and None Clerk House, and in the 13 years of service of the School as the Xicoco Shamanic Arts. Tonight, we drink and celebrate for all my relations, and for the benefit of All Beings Everywhere!

I Am—the Fallen Angel

Look within and know that which says I Am—”I am forever isolated. Always surrounded by everything else but unable yet to merge, to melt, to become one with the All; always separate from the beloved; always longing to become, to achieve, to obtain.”

Find that piece of you that suffers; the part that feels unique and separate.

Find that piece, and you will find within the seed of the Fallen Angel who longs for the voice of the Creator, who looks everywhere for the light of the Beloved.

Find the silence within, and know that you are the Fallen One, the First Created. Know that you are that which contains within itself the presence and memory of the time when everything is one, undivided, full of joy and union. Know that even in your darkest hour, you suffer only because you contain within yourself the seed of love and surrender.

This gnosis is the memory of having witnessed the first light emerging from the horizon. It is not the light of the Sun, but the light of the Morning Star that heralds the coming of the Sun. It is a light so pure, so deep, and so all-encompassing, that it destroys all shadows.

But since everything that is known is shadow, the pure light will make the known disappear into the light of reality. The shadows that we were holding on to will vanish, giving light to an awakening of the senses. And the fears that plagued our dreaming, sleeping mind will disperse like cobwebs.

The light of the Sun will then spring eternal from the heart, giving light to the eyes, joy to the heart, and movement to the body. Life and death will no longer be separate, but coexist as one impulse. Aspiration, word, thought and deed will be one, when the Sun comes.

(Check out my Toltec Survivor podcast)

 

 

The fool that kicks his hat away

How paradoxical the nature of the spiritual search!

That which we seek keeps being pushed away by the mind that places the attainment always outside, beyond, later.

The immense vistas of freedom come as the vast horizon, always as the horizon that unifies Heaven and Earth, but horizon always, no matter how much we walk.

Or is it like the clown, who kicks his hat away from him every time he bends over to pick it up?