The Stars Firing Synaptic Dreams of God

Every atom in your body was forged in the bowels of a star, and everything you can perceive in this universe was also formed in a star. If this universe is an illusion, then the stars are the synaptic firings creating the building blocks of the dream of God.

Now, consider the situation before the first stars erupted with light in the night sky. The universe had never seen light, and yet all the matter that was possible was already there. In fact, most of the matter that had been created before the first stars came out was already gone.

What we’re experiencing right now is not the bounty of creation. We are on the last leg of creation. Most of the material content of the universe was already gone by the time the first stars were created. And when the first stars were created there were no planets, no life. There was just that initial light filling up the universe, and those giant stars remaining after the initial splendor.

These stars lived their lives for billions of years and one of two things would happen. Either they would contract enough until they became black holes or they would explode becoming super novas.

The ones that became super novas would give themselves to the universe, sending off everything that had been forged in their bowels and all this matter then would come to join other star systems, reaching the type of matter in these other stars. This new matter would then again form new stars and create the second generation of stars.

The new stars would again either become black holes or supernovas and then they would give rise to more complex molecules and form new stars and new types of planets until we come to this sun that we have.

Our sun is part of the fourth generation of suns. All so that we may have a very rich variety of molecular structures in order to have the complexity of planetary existence that we experience here and now.

It is with this type of planetary existence that we can form different bodies; bodies capable of sustaining life; bodies capable of carrying the type of consciousness that sentient beings have. So, we have gone through all this trouble just to form this kind of body that can carry the sentience of the universe.

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The Old Well Is Behind Me

There is a well behind me. Old. It’s been there before the creation of the world. It’s been there before there were bricks and stones to put around it. It was there before there were any trees out of which wood was extracted and molded to cover it, to protect it, to keep little children from falling off into that darkness; before there was any thirst in the people and before there was any water, dark and silent, that could satiate such thirst.

There is this well.

What did it look like before we had words such as well, water, thirst? Did it look like a swirling of meaning––like the conglomeration of words and thoughts? Or was it a swirling of darkness dancing with a swirling of light, mixing, separating, always together, never ever nullifying one another?

What happened before the division of creation; before the separation of left and right; before the separation of male and female, of joy, and suffering; before life and death were distinct; before the dreaming and the waking became separate worlds?

How did this river, then, move from left to right when there is no left and no right? How did the waters flow? Were they dancing around one another without movement from here to there? Were they just shadows? Was the river and the well then––before the formation of the foundations of the world––one and the same?

And how would one go about crossing this river, I wonder? Would it be enough to sit here, stare at the crossroads, and force my eyes to see beyond the veil of creation; to see everything before me as a thin screen where lights and shadows create the illusion of a world of infinite space and infinite unending manifestation?

Could I at that moment simply see the world for what it is?
A thin membrane of words and hopes…
Seeing all plastered in front of me,
and reaching out not with the vision of the eyes
but the vision of the sensing that exists behind my head.
Reaching beyond the veil.
Seeking for a pathway.
A middle ground.
Seeking the way that you seek your way
in a dark moonless night.

I Am the Stirring in the Void

I sit in the midst of an ocean of light, sound and silence. I am nothing. I am empty. I am the flicker of the empty void. I am the organizer of experience.

I identify myself with the contents of this body. I identify myself with the memories; memories of existing earlier today; memories of yesterday, of last week; memories of years ago.

I say “I am”, “I did”, “I was”, “I came”, “I sinned”, “I killed”, “I lied”, “I betrayed”, “I did”, “I accomplished”, “I attained”, “I saved”, “I am”, “I say”, “I did”; but I know fully well that none of those things ever happened to me. They are memories stored in this body. They are events hinted at me.

All my memories of the past are like subtle shadows that begin to fade away as the dream fades away into incomprehensible nothingness, as I awake and take on this new life and this new body full of sensations, touching space, hearing, listening, moving.

I find myself in this body, having the tenuous sensation of a dream that fades away. I know myself as the meaningless flicker, the stirring in the void, forever falling into identification with the shadows of lights, the sound, the move, the heat, the refuge against the cold night.

 

Electrical Tolerance In the Art of Philosophical Inquiry

For a philosophical inquiry, we need intensification of tolerance. I am not referring to social tolerance, but of electrical tolerance. A lightning rod allows the passage of power without breaking because it has a high electrical tolerance. a material with high resistance will burn out and break. This tolerance is the movement of the attention necessary to develop for this inquiry. It is the same as putting a 9-volt battery on your tongue. The initial shock makes you want to pull away.

That is what the mind experiences when it meets silence. It wants to do something to stay away from that shock. That something can be boredom. It can be feeling insulted. It can be the thought that says: “let’s talk about something else”. But if one is able to hold it, the initial discomfort is going to go away and we are going to find this pulsing energy flowing through the tongue.

The intensification of magickal force necessary to make this crossing, and this is a crucial point, is not about us doing something stronger. It’s about us opening up more. The intensification is of our tolerance so that the flow of power can continue. The intensification of the mind in a philosophical inquiry is first and foremost about the ability to receive more, to tolerate more. Put that battery on your tongue. Let it flow. It takes practice though, because the ordinary mind has been trained wrongly—in our schools, in our entertainment and in our language.

I hear people speak for hours and for days without hearing one another: switching and changing, following any impulse and retreating from any topic without regard for the dance of the dialogue, without regard for timing. It takes a very disciplined mind to be able to hold something.

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How the Philosopher Overcomes the Resistance of the Mind

The language that you acquire when you train in an esoteric school is the magickal language, Qabalistic thought, logical thought, and archetypal thought. A Philosophus can approach language from a very different perspective. There is an exactitude necessary to language, but at the same time there is a letting go of stagnant and calcified meanings. One has to be able to be very precise and at the same time to not hang on to unconscious agreements about what words mean.

There are a couple of tendencies of the mind that keep us from engaging in Philosophical inquiry. One is the tendency to let go of the effort. When you concentrate on one thought or one term for too long, the mind wants to move on. It wants to say: “yeah, I already know that. Give me something else.”

Another barrier is when you hold on and can’t let go of a point for ego reasons. That usually happens when the ego is involved and you feel like your point has not been heard or you feel like you are being misunderstood and your ego is attached to the outcome of the conversation. You want to keep going back to one point. The difference between exploring an idea for a long time and holding on to one idea, the difference between those two things, is that when we are exploring an idea from a philosophical standpoint, we are moving with it. You are seeing it from this angle then this angle then this angle until something becomes universal. There is a silence that springs in you when you find yourself looking at an idea from multiple directions. However, if you are identified with the outcome and lust for results, then the ego gets involved in the discussion and we will get stuck.

The third impediment is when we listen and compare what is being said to what we think we already know. To try to compare what’s being said to your idea of reality, to judge what is being said as being true or being false, whether you like it or dislike it, to whether you’re being entertained or not, are all tricks of the mind to get you back to an ordinary state. When the intensive chamber of the Teaching becomes strong, the mind also tries to shut down by confusing you, by making you tired. You keep listening to the words, trying to find something of interest. However, even if every thing in every word is quite understood, the mind begins to give up the effort necessary to hold on to the idea. The body becomes tired. Therefore, you need the blood-flow to the head. The breathing must be open and natural, the spine erect and the blood must flow to the brain so that you don’t fall asleep. The ego has to be put out of the equation. So that nothing that is said is interpreted as insult, as personal.

These are some of the tendencies of the mind that take us away from the present. Somehow, the reader could be hearing what I’m saying just as prologue. As something that is not the topic yet. In other words the mind is already talking and the things I’m saying are not heard. They are being categorized and cataloged into interesting or uninteresting. I question that function of the mind which wants to talk about something else: something that was talked about last week, for example; or something that your mind was considering a few months ago or a year ago; or something you heard in the past. All of that is at the expense of the moment. For at this moment, the tactics of the mind to get away from the now are being approached.